Sometimes I don’t respond to things I have heard, seen or read that are directed at me because I know where they are likely to go.
It is a place that isn’t going to lend itself to compromise or dialogue about circumstance and I have limited interest in trying to resuscitate something that is already dead or within a few breaths of dying.
I suppose you could say that sounds like I have already made my mind up and the answer is that in many cases I have.
Whatever it is on the verge of dying a natural or perhaps an unnatural death, but dying nonetheless.
Sometimes it is ok to be the doc or paramedic and sometimes you are the gravedigger waiting for the body to be cold enough to throw in the ground.
And so we come to the this place to bleed upon the screen and see if we can find the magic.
It is harder to do when you feel like an alien has crawled inside you and is trying to claw its way out.
Want to feed on me? Fine I’ll shut it all down and then you won’t have anything. It is exhausting.
Somewhere within the next couple of days we’ll hit the 10th anniversary of my maternal grandfather, the esteemed Percy Silver’s march into the cornfields.
That will coincide with one sister’s anniversary and the anniversary of selling my house.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that 10 years have gone by because it feels like much more should have passed and sometimes I think it must be less,
Feels like I turn around and look across a gaping chasm and see the life I once lived and the one I have now.
Fought for every inch and every accomplishment I have now and did it oftentimes in spite of others.
It is why I never question my ability to walk away from anything because I had to do it and if needed could do it all again.
People often fail to recognize how much we are capable of.
****
More than a few are dancing with death now, daring Delta to come find them and wrap them in a warm embrace.
Had that very conversation with a fine fellow who told me he doesn’t fear Covid and that he won’t let his personal liberties be encroached.
I gleefully told him I support a vaccine mandate because I knew it would set him off and his selfish attitude and asinine comments set me off.
And for good measure I told him Delta brings a severe case of E.D. because some men are more easily manipulated that way.
It is all narishkeit, life, this post and most people.
That’s what I was asked to do…elsewhere.
“Write a little more and tell us some more stories. Return to whence you came and the style you once had and put those fingers to work.”
Done a little of that. Wrote a little more here and there without any regard for boundaries or whether it would resonate with anyone.
Kind of felt good to have that familiar warmth upon my back. Might have to do some more of it and see if the fire burns as brightly as I suspect.
