‘Sunburnt’ Memories

Parts of me are burned and parts are as fine as a man my age can ask for, more or less.

Thought I had done a better job of putting on sunblock but the patchwork burn makes it clear I didn’t or had tried to burn a quilt pattern upon my body.

Might be an uncomfortable Saturday, might not be. I beat that nasty cold down in 24 hours and unless it comes back with friends it is done.

Kids took a straw poll and decided I look more like Dad than ever. Not the first time I have heard it, but feels more striking with Fathers Day coming up.

This is the third day where I have no obligation to tell my own old man that I appreciate him.

Always knew the time would come, but never expected it to happen when it did. Shouldn’t be surprised because no one dies on schedule or when it is convenient.

Don’t Know What I Am Doing

Couple of new fathers asked me to share some advice and I laughed. “I don’t know what I am doing. Got no idea, I just make it up as I go along.”

I am not exaggerating, every day I just wing it. Had good role models to emulate, but they didn’t know any more than I do.

That is not exaggeration or rationalizing, it is what they told me.

“Take care of your family. Make the best choices you can based upon the information you have. Don’t be afraid to make hard choices and adjust. Remember to have a good time, you’ll be old before you expect to be.”

They were right.

Watched my mom talk to her two granddaughters and listened to the girls talk about their plans for medical school and beyond.

Listened to the grandsons talk about different dreams and smiled.

Niece says Texas feels like California to her and I said there are a lot of similarities.

Most of the family memories are from our time in various places in California or in New Jersey. Now Texas has joined the mix but for how long is uncertain.

Ten years from now the youngest of the crew will be 25 and the oldest will be in their thirties, there could be all kinds of life changes between now and then.

****

The younger Mr. Wilner and I are seated at the dining room table talking about changes. He tells me this could be the last time we gather like this and I tell him it depends on perspective.

“Four years ago is the last time you had all of your aunts and uncles in one place and Grandpa was there. He probably already had cancer then but we had no idea. That is a great example of life, you just never know.”