Could start this post with the link to I Don’t Just Believe or give you the story about the red dress and blue dress but don’t feel like it.
Got Billie Holiday singing I Am A Fool To Want You playing while I let my mind drift through some old memories from a time when I had my first apartment and actually played music on a record player.
A time when I would sometimes sit at the pool, smoking cigars with the guys and trying out a new single malt we could barely afford talking about a future we thought might come about one day.
Some of those guys are gone now, their deaths having surprised us all because no one expects healthy men in their twenties to be taken so young.
Almost all of the rest got married and had kids, though not all of us stayed married. Join the conversations now and sometimes you’ll hear tales about the curve balls and surprises life throws at you.
The women who seemed amazing and were for a time but lost their sparkle because the magic wasn’t really there or if it was it faded because people change and grow apart.
Some call that a sad remark but I don’t, it is a natural part of life and there is no reason to fight it. Learn and keep living, take what you can and do your best not to let it fester.
Don’t drink on a Sunday nigh or so they say.
Had to tell someone twice that if they are going to respond to all I say or do with negativity they ought to stay out of my way because sentimentality won’t stop me from doing what has to be done.
I am too tired and too worn out to fight about nonsense and will do what I think needs to be done and live with the consequences
Maybe it is because I am convinced I am approaching the crossroads or maybe it is just because but whatever it is doesn’t matter because I know what I plan on doing.
Made more than one mistake in my life and will make a few more but I have made tremendous strides during the last few years because I didn’t let fear paralyze me.
Had that conversation with the kids, said I was destroyed by some things and terrified but kept going because fear of nothing changing bothered me more.
When stuck between a rock and a hard place I am incapable of sitting on my hands indefinitely. Sometimes you have jump off of the cliff and see what happens.
Did I mention I have reached a place where I cannot listen to hours of negativity and that I see that as the equivalent of drinking poison.
If you lay your head in a sick bed eventually you’ll get sick too so when you recognize something stinks you ought to have the sechel to move.
It is time to get to tachlis in the areas that haven’t been addressed, full stop.