If you asked me to share with the story of Inside of June I might just smile and shrug my shoulders and wait to see how you responded.
There are multiple tales tied into it ranging from stories you only find elsewhere, pieces about lost loves and whether they might have been the love of your life and misunderstandings about what someone said.
The younger Mr. Wilner will tell you I can come up with a dozen different stories on the spot and make a few of them sound credible.
He sometimes complains about said ability and how his younger sister picked it up with more ease than he did.
Thing is he is far more capable of doing it than he recognizes but he gets in his own way by trying to figure out if what he says is possible and or realistic.
I have told him more than once that truth is stranger than fiction and sometimes the greatest joy in a story is not worrying about whether it is real.
He enjoys the Star Wars and Marvel movies so I know he isn’t fixated upon truth. Lest this sound like criticism understand it is not and that kid has more than a few areas in which he surpasses his old man and I celebrate that.
There are benefits to not being 20 anymore that make it easier for me to engage the child within because I know at my core who I am.
It is not hard for me to say I am not living the life I thought I would and that I am not settled or settling for less than I believe I deserve.
We all walk our particular paths and some are longer than others. I have learned to give myself the grace of being allowed to change my mind on the big and the little stuff.
If I believe I have made a mistake I am willing to make changes. That doesn’t mean there are no consequences for any action I may take but it does mean I am able to pivot.
That was harder for me when I was younger but though time is shorter now in many ways it is far easier.
Anyhoo, I am reminded of standing outside a convenience store in Canada with a South African man who thought buying a Slurpee referred to hiring a woman.
Same guy confused me when he made a comment about doing something inside of June leading me to ask if I had picked on some slang straight of Joburg or Capetown.
Reminds me, I have to get out to Joburg one day. It is on my list of places to visit.
I hate to admit that I have spent some time working during my vacation. Two meetings, four phone calls and a half dozen emails were sat through, made or sent.
If I met my objective these will make life easier down the road and provide more free time during my next vacation which will probably be in the not so distant future
One of the unintended consequences of the pandemic is the impact it has had upon time off. I took almost no time last year because I was trying to avoid not being able to go anywhere.
A thousand years ago when I was relatively new to the workforce and Y2K was something that was talked about as a problem we’d have to deal with in a few years I longed for weeks of vacation.
It seemed terribly unfair to say that I would have to work decades before I would be in a position where I would get more than two weeks.
Dad told me not to worry because the time would pass and I didn’t have enough cash to go anywhere for weeks at a time.
It wasn’t particularly comforting and given that I had to report to an office every day and feel chained to a desk the days sometimes felt like a life sentence.
I knew there would be other opportunities and that if I could figure out a way to obtain one I could change my lot. It never crossed my mind that I would have to go through hell to get to a better place or that hell wouldn’t be an exaggeration.
The kids have heard more than once that it is ok if they don’t find the perfect opportunity and that they might have to have a few experiences before they find something they really like.
They have also heard it can happen faster and that my experience doesn’t have to be theirs.
Still I let them know things are pretty good right now and that sometimes the most important thing you can do is wake up and keep going…every day.
Got a few dreams and wrote about some so that I would hold myself and others accountable. There are things I view not in a context of if but when.
It is a pretty good feeling.
I don’t have a specific timeline yet but if I can borrow my old friend Yoni’s expression I hope to make some happen inside of June if not before.
Sometimes you have to jump off of the cliff and remember you already know how to fly.