Sometimes you can look at a picture and hear the person in it speak to you and you just know that lightning is going to strike again.
It is not logical or rational but it is reasonable belief based upon things that lie outside of that which you can see, touch, taste and feel.
We’re masters of our destiny sailing a sea that has been stormy but is about to deposit us upon the shores of the secret garden that leads to the castle
Don’t have to close my eyes to see Jericho standing upon the walls or know the gate will open.
Death came to visit in my dream last night and we did battle again, not for the first time and not for the last.
Though I am not who I once was for a time to come I am still more than that bag of bones can overwhelm and it shall remain until I am released or too exhausted to continue.
This I know as all the men in the line have known, even if we never verbalize it.
Only the strong can hold onto the outstretched hand and only the brave take it.
Tomorrow I’ll call the doctor’s office and schedule the first physical since before Dad walked through the cornfields into whatever lies beyond.
What will the doctor say? What news will be share and what guidance will he have offer?
I have my ideas and I don’t like some of them but days pass and some of what seemed to plague me is better than it was and some shows no change.
The joy of being almost middle age and having thrown my body upon gym floors, into others on various fields and out of trees, bikes and what have you is evident.
The bill has come due for some of those activities and there are moments where I catch myself grunting and realize the kink isn’t loosening up as I had thought it might.
So I stretch some more and try the fancy Arnica gel to see if that helps and occasionally see the kind of results I hope to.
It is that one kiss that changes everything and I roll with it because that is enough to prevent the need for Ibuprofen. During those moments in which nothing works I sometimes give in and see if that works. Most of the time it does, but every now and then there seems to be no change.
That makes me wonder if there will be a day when that is the norm and not the anomaly but I don’t spend time obsessing about it. It is easy to compartmentalize that kind of stuff, until it happens it is nothing.
Can’t do that with everything but can do it with quite a bit.
Got my annual review coming on Tuesday and haven’t spent more than a minute thinking about it so I know there is improvement.
That is age, experience and the knowledge you have beaten death.
One of the guys suggested I not talk that way because you don’t want to invite the attention of the Evil Eye and I say it is too late.
That cyclops found me long ago. I wasn’t kidding when I say I have taken more than one beating and screamed in anger at not being able to give back everything I took and more.
Except I did.
I figured it all out.
I climbed out of the hole and when I got knocked back down climbed out again.
The third time I said fuck it and built shop inside of Hell. Figured it would piss off Old Scratch more to see me thrive in his house.
Danced in the goddamn fire, poured gasoline over my head and offered to let him punch me in the mouth and then laughed.
It is not much fun to mess with someone who isn’t bothered by your antics.
Wonder what the doc will say. Wonder if it will be better or worse than expected.
Been shaving my head for most of the pandemic and every time I do it find myself wondering who the guy in the reflection is.
Keep playing around with letting it all grow and seeing if the barber can make it look like something I want to keep but not sure I care enough about it to try.
I still recognize the smile and the eyes and appreciate never having to worry about bad hair days, hats or convertibles.
Those who love me will do so regardless of what rests upon my head and I don’t care what the others think.
The biggest issue here isn’t the hair, it is that pandemic wall I mentioned before. It is grinding upon me but I have one week left before I go on vacation and I can do that with my eyes closed.
Sometimes you have to name your challenge and then it loses some of its power.
I don’t fear death but I prefer it doesn’t hurt and that it doesn’t come before I am ready. Aside from that there is no issue.
Lightning strikes more than once, this I know to be true. I can see the bolts and hear the thunder. Each day it is one step closer.
Ain’t life one hell of a rush.
