Won’t forget the first time someone reacted to my California plates with a one finger salute and a four letter word accenting their request for me to go back.
Won’t forget the guy who called me just another hillbilly when I was in Atlanta or how the guy from rural Georgia laughed while telling me I sounded like I was from New York.
I shook my head and told the first the Celtics sucked but not as bad as his ear for accents.
“I don’t sound like a Texan and I certainly don’t sound like some hick from Appalachia.
Someone else interrupted and said I sounded like I might have a touch of a drawl and I shrugged because there might be truth to that.
It is not usually there but I have a bad habit of picking up on certain accents and if I am around certain groups it sometimes happens.
Not going to lie and say I haven’t said ‘Y’all’ but it is not common parlance for me. I have seen a few guys with thick drawls use them to try and convince people they were stupid.
It was a negotiating ploy on their part and it worked.
Someone asked me to explain the quote above and I said I wasn’t available for interpreting Brother Pablo.
They pushed me to say more and I said if you have to ask you haven’t seen or experienced life and I have.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I have seen and been seen in April, May and June, especially June.”
“Is that a camp reference or a season?”
“It is neither.”
“Will you explain yourself?”
“There are women who will tell you they will never date you. They’ll say they’ll never marry you. And then one day they’ll date you and if you ask them what happened they’ll tell you nothing did.
Those same women might turn around and tell you that they have decided it is time to get married because it is the most logical and practical thing to do. And if you point that out they’ll laugh and say you know them better than they thought.”
“What does that have to do with the Neruda quote?”
“Do you want me to say nothing or to say everything because both are true.”
“Must you always be so difficult.”
“Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared for and never forget that my preschool teachers told my mom I was born to tell stories. I enjoy this nunsense.”
Editor’s Note: Dad used to say “Nunsense.” Can’t tell you why he did it but when I asked him if he was cross dressing in a habit he glared at me.
That won’t make sense to most of you, but it might make Mom smile. Middle sister might hear it and tell her kids that Uncle Josh didn’t get to finish dinner because he got sent from the table…a lot.
Had a boss that once asked me why I didn’t understand the consequences of mouthing off and I said he never had to face Dad’s icy glare.
“I told you I can be unconventional, insouciant and willing to poke the bear. You don’t want to micromanage me or ask me to kiss your ass. I don’t do any of that particularly well. Best to let the bull be a bull or to send me on my way.”
I don’t recommend trying that because it could have gone sideways, but I did and I survived. Reminds me of a Mark Twain quote.
“We can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.”
Epilogue
Been writing all over ‘cuz I have to empty out the brain. Got AC/DC floating through my head now and haven’t been on the treadmill yet so I think it is time to wrap this up and get a tripping along.
See you around.
I’m rolling thunder, pouring rain
I’m coming on like a hurricane
My lightning’s flashing across the sky
You’re only young, but you’re gonna die
I won’t take no prisoners, won’t spare no lives
Nobody’s putting up a fight
I got my bell, I’m gonna take you to hell
I’m gonna get ya, Satan get ya
Hells bells
Hells bells, you got me ringing
Hells bells, my temperature’s high
Hells bells
