Sitting with Bruce, haunted by his new song and lost in thought about this and that.
People ask if I ever think of blogging incognito and I say aren’t I doing in multiple places already or maybe I am doing it here. Maybe this is but a partial mask I wear like the damn phantom of the opera or maybe not.
Maybe not, maybe it is pretty damn honest and not as muddied as some think.
Could be that if a cougar asked for a meeting I’d say yes and could be that I would say no, but probably not cuz destiny just doesn’t play that way.
Ask Bruce, and share the moment.
One minute you’re here
Next minute you’re gone
take the pause and go on
Baby baby baby
I’m so alone
Baby baby baby
I’m coming home
You can share a full house and still ache as easily as you do within an empty one.
Still hanging with Bruce, listening to his new album and pulling out the songs that resonate with me, not sure if these will be my favorites but eventually I’ll figure it out.
Sometimes you take a pause to look back, look ahead and look at where you are at and figure out if this is the time for recrimination and doubt or joy and faith that you have the best you can.
There are people that never ask you those questions or they come to the verge and never let go leaving you to decide whether you ought to volunteer to discuss it or stay silent because they haven’t any interest.
Got my thoughts and ideas about it all and alternate between raw courage and a fearless approach to say and do anything anywhere and at any time to guarded.
Can’t predict nor say when one overrides and overshadows the other just know that they do.
Sometimes it wears people out and you can see them disappear into the woods never to reappear and others ask for more and make it clear they are constant, consistent and determined.
Or some kind of rot like that.
The Last Station
The boys ask what the plan is and I shrug my shoulders and say more than a decade.
“Are you certain or could things change?”
“I am certain that some of what you read never happened and that some of what happens you never read. Life is about one day at a time as often as it is about decades.
I could live another 50 years or see the stress cut that short in ways I’d rather not experience. Don’t know when we get to the last station so you might as well enjoy the ride.”
They ask if I ever worry about it coming soon than I am ready and I say ‘aye.’
“What will you do about it?”
“Live now.”
