Maybe That Fire Burns

Someone made a remark a short while ago and flames shot out of my nose and lasers from eyes.

Took a deep breath and reminded myself text is pretty sterile and it might have been an offhand remark with no judgment or intent and walked away from the phone.

“Maybe that fire burns bright for you brother and maybe you had another day of doing it all yourself.”

The reflection didn’t respond and the man spoke for another moment.

“You were built to take it and that is what you have to do, take it. Can’t expect help or understanding, if it comes great and if not, well it is nothing different from every day life.”

Still no response from the reflection but a final remark of “Covid isn’t going to stop you.”

Love Me Or Don’t

Had a conversation with someone about inner demons and the importance of figuring out what works for us because everyone is different.

Told them how some people will act as obstacles and refuse to understand or care what the root of the challenge is and will call you weak.

They asked me what I did to push back against it and I said I threw 90 pounds across part of a room.

“Did they care?”

“Not one bit, wasn’t impressed in the slightest.”

“What did you do?”

“I said love me or don’t. I meant it exactly as it sounded but it was really more of an internal focused remark than anything else.”

We went back and forth a little bit longer and then I shared a look that stopped them in their tracks.

“Why are you looking like that?”

“Because I remembered something.”

“What?”

“Those demons are mine to wrestle with and I haven’t shared them with anyone and may never. We all have our secrets and things that trouble us. We either figure out how to manage or we crumble and we don’t crumble.”

****

One of cousins clerked for RBG. I looked for them in the pictures and video online and thought I spotted them but wasn’t certain.

I was pleased when I got confirmation from them and sent my thanks for standing in for those of us who couldn’t make it.

Having put much thought into this I would have been sad when RBG died regardless of who was in office and who we thought might replace her.

She made that kind of impact and that is worth celebrating regardless of the current moment and possible replacements.

It is also worth acknowledging the loss as it is how things go.

Sometimes you get the great job, partner and life but sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you get the pencil neck and the corporate run around and have to work towards getting the whole package.

It can be frustrating, but if you have the guts and wherewithal the rewards can be big.

Let’s Confabulate

Got a bunch of emails and texts from people but barely responded to any of them.

One responded to a five word response with “can’t you write more?”

I said “Let’s confabulate” and laughed because I could hear the groan a thousand miles away. I tire of text very quickly and it is rare that I spend much time going back and forth with another via that medium.

It is easier to have a short telephone conversation. You get more details and have fewer misunderstandings without risk of arthritis in your thumbs.

And that is worth something.