Don’t ask me why I am listening to Moon River because I don’t know other than iTunes has a list of crooners and I haven’t bothered to change it.
Been looking for some specific items that I haven’t been able to find and it is starting to chap my hide because I used to know where I kept them.
For years they were in the same place but too many moves has wreaked havoc upon my ability to recall specifics on things I don’t use with regularity.
Came across an old photo album and pulled it down thinking it might have one of the shots I wanted to share with an old/new cousin but I was wrong.
Discovered that it contained a roster from a summer spent in Israel in 1985 and spent two minutes flipping through it.
Confirmed that some of the names of my friends Facebook friends/family are familiar because we spent a summer together 35 years ago.
Realized I had some pictures of cousins from Israel that I had forgotten about and made a mental note to scan and share.
I was 16 and they were between 29 and 32 or so. We all look very different now.
Someone asked me why I am chained to others and I said they are all voluntary handcuffs and I felt a twinge of sadness.
Many are gone because of some life experience in which we let ourselves be pulled apart and but most are because I let go or they died.
Just don’t have the energy to carry the whole load by myself any longer. If you live alone long enough you learn how to do it and I learned.
So those who are still around are here because we choose it to be so but there are no guarantees and I sometimes wonder if there isn’t more reason to thin the herd further.
Granted I am fed up with a few things and a few people so the idea might hold more interest than normal.
Mostly tired of people getting in the way and their unwillingness to step to the side. Eventually that will lead to decisions to move them or walk around.
Either course means I have had enough and that short of a very honest and tough conversation it is done.
Suppose we’ll see how it plays out.
That kid had dreams and some will never be realized, but others, well they can be moved from fantasy to reality and the importance of that grows with each passing year.
Heart ache doesn’t have to last and doesn’t have to be ignored. Some opportunities exist if you are bold enough to take them.