I could refer you to here to learn about frizzy hair, rain and running or you could read the rest of this post to determine if I know how to walk the line through a damn ring of fire.
Or you could ask how can I walk the line if I dance in the damn fire and I might add that I can tell you where the hair is or isn’t…gray.
And should you ask what the hell I am talking about I would refer you to my not feeling human from roughly 6:30 AM until about 4 when whatever foul demon assaulted me got tired of my refusal to lay down and take the beating.
It is probably why 2 miles into my walk I suddenly felt exhausted and forced myself to levitate the rest of the way home.
Some of y’all have emailed about the story you want to read and I have responded that it just might exist online and that if you don’t know where it is at it is intentional.
“But Joshua, why won’t you tell me. Why won’t you just share?”
The answer to that question varies depending upon person and mood.
Sometimes it might go something like, “if I don’t call you mom or dad you don’t get a say and even if you are, it doesn’t matter because I am not a child.”
Another fun alternative is, “if you don’t share my bed you don’t get to ask and even if you do I still might say no because I can. Or because sometimes you need to hear it.”
Occasionally it is followed up by and even if you once shared my bed it doesn’t matter because I still have all of the naked pictures and video.
Ok, that last part is probably not true, but it should help determine reading comprehension. Mom, do yourself a favor and try not to think about any of it. You really don’t want to know if I am serious or just causing trouble.
Not that I would ever cause trouble because as you know I was the perfect child and any disagreements were caused by my sisters who were jealous of my perfection and humility.
I unlinked from a LinkedIn connection because the dope has been posting antisemitic nonsense and has no interest in being educated.
Someone else said he made some comment about people not understanding Armenian politics/thoughts which sounded a lot like a White guy defending the KKK.
“Sir, you just don’t understand White guy politics/thoughts.”
“No, I understand exactly what that means. You can call it White pride and hope the rubes misunderstand the hate but I won’t.”
I don’t believe anyone is better or worse because of race/religion but I will absolutely judge you based upon your actions and the values you espouse.
Someone asked me if I would consider being a pirate and I had to say I would. You can blame it upon Errol Flynn and other pirate movies and shows.
It looks like damn fun to take no law other than my own nature and to go bury treasure, sink ships and pillage the village.
Who doesn’t want to go a plundering and have a good sword fight or two hundred.
I’d be good at those and with all the treasure I’d be able to retire early and grab a princess and tell her she could be my pirate queen.
“You could wear the same old shmata or grab some new ones but don’t go hocking at me about wearing a mask because I am the kind of pirate whose mug needs to be seen.”
She’d probably argue and I’d have to remind her that the post office doesn’t exist so I need to become infamous so that the reward for my capture would be driven up.
And then I’d wear a mask so that I could orchestrate my own capture and of course fix things so that upon receipt of the reward I would escape.
Don’t spend too much time trying to figure out what I just said or how I would do it, just know that when I set my mind to do something I get it done.
And with that I bid you good night and promise that if I should wake tomorrow you will hear from me again.
And if you don’t figure I decided to go on a walkabout and all bets are off as to when I’ll haunt these premises again.