Yesterday was something else and today seemed to use the former as a launching pad.
Between the two days I have found myself shaking my head and or cursing more than once because I can’t figure out how I got so damn lucky to be in this particular position again.
It is less than comfortable and though I expect to prevail it is hard not to ask myself what path led to this place.
Hard not to wonder what role I played.
But it is also hard not to look at the past and think that perhaps experience is the key.
Some Mountaintops Are Worth Dying Upon
I have gotten better about picking and choosing my battles which is a useful skill that age and experience provide you with should you listen.
It is also why I feel pretty confident that if I choose to draw my sword it is because I am willing to die on this mountaintop.
Don’t come for me and I won’t come for you but if you choose to ignore that and come looking for me, well I just might meet you in the fields.
And should I do so, I will be ready and willing to do what is required
It is a sad thing to me that some of these moments have to be experienced and or repeated but silence serves as acceptance and that I cannot do.
I never could and though I engage in far less than ever before I also am far less willing to withdraw from the field.
It is why today I shook my head and asked if this is really necessary. Once it became clear it was I reached down and picked up two handfuls of dirt and rubbed them between my hands.
And then I repeated twice my suggestion to allow me to pass.
The other party issued their own warning and then I held my ground and waited to see what would happen.