The reflection is familiar even if it is not quite right. That guy looks like me…sort of but then again not at all.
Conversation with a friend who has been around forever makes me smile, even when she tells me I can’t say I have only kissed a few girls.
She isn’t trying to tease me nor be judgmental.
That is what forty years gets you, even if it is not quite 40 it is closer than 30. Long enough that I can say I know more than a couple of stories about her.
We both laugh, talk about the kids and I say some things are foggy and some are clear.
“The really good kiss, the one that lights you up–I remember those and I remember who I want to talk to when I am upset and who I don’t.
That is important. Remember that.”
I can picture the expression when she asks what.
“Remember who you want to lean on and you who you don’t. I have reached a point where if you don’t add value to my life you don’t get any time.”
The guy in the reflection says “I invited you to live in my castle. You said yes and then you didn’t but maybe you will one day. Or maybe you won’t.
I don’t generally leave open ended invitations but these days it is all gut feeling and listening to the bells…the fucking bells.”
I know what I think. I know what I hear and I am not crazy.”
The older guy in the mirror, he says I am not crazy but ignores the signs that make it clear he just might be.
“Maybe you ought to find a river you could skate away on and maybe someone would draw out the hallelujah from your throat.”
There is a crazy light in that guy’s eyes. If you are open to looking in them and dealing with overflowing intensity you can get past the hard edges that are only getting harder.
I saw him go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds. Watched him unravel and then recognize he was losing it and saw him grab mask, headphones and keys.
Then he was gone.
He walked out into the darkness and into the mystic. Wandered in no particular direction while recognizing the blood red moon called to him.
“Few can handle me and fewer want the chance but some just get it and could do it if given the chance.
Somewhere in between where the wild things are and Neverland he turned around in a circle and considered trying to rope the moon.
This much he knew and this much he did.
And then he put on his hat and restored the mask, not the one science said to wear but the one that kept the wrong people at bay while wondering maybe that included the right people too.
One step into the beyond. Imagine all the people.