What You Ask For…

And so it begins…

I once knew two liars.

A girl and a boy who came of age during a time when science was considered truth and magic was considered to be the province of con men, charlatans and snake oil salesmen.

The two of them grew up in separate towns, went to separate schools and for a very long time lived separate lives.

It’s a story I know because I am one of the authors and inside my head I see a variety of paths it might take and I mull over what direction to take it.

Sometimes I think about starting it with this song playing in the background and consider finishing it with this one.

And then I ponder whether to flip them and begin with the end and finish with the beginning while playing around with other pieces.

Maybe it will be a very simple tale and maybe it will be epic. One never knows for certain where the words will take them until they appear upon the page.

For now I hear the echoes of the future and past and recognize a familiar ache that disappears and returns without invitation, hello or goodbye.

What You Ask For…

The children and I go back and forth about this and that and I tell them that sometimes what they ask for they must create.

And I tell them about how sometimes you give up opportunities that feel precious and important because there are other considerations.

“Circumstances can force your hand one direction or another and it is hard to make choices when you cannot see with the clarity you want.”

When they ask for specifics I shake my head and tell them I won’t go there, not today.

They push again and I tell them about our uncle, gone 26 years now and his refusal to allow me to record him on camera.

When they ask how that is connected I say they are part of a line of people who had bigger lives than they might imagine and some of that could not be captured on film.

“I didn’t take every picture of you I could have. Nor did I film everything I could because sometimes I needed to be in the moment with you. Sometimes I needed to accept that I couldn’t capture it if I wanted to enjoy the full experience.”

And then I told them about some moments where I asked other parent to put their damn iPads down because those of us who were behind needed to see you through something other than a tablet.

I have gone to the place where fire meets water not knowing what it is I seek or expect to find. Gone solely because I follow a path only I can see while listening to a song only I can hear.

Such is the way of the world but few people know this to be true. Some ask why and all I can offer is that not everyone walks their path with their eyes wide open and heart ready to hear the song only it can recognize.

Maybe it is because to be so naked is to risk devastation or maybe it is nothing of the sort.

Blazing A Trail

I am in uncharted waters again which is more familiar to me than I sometimes like it to be.

Got all sorts of things going on in the background that influence life in ways yet to be seen or understood in their impact.

Many are challenges faced by the collective as well as the individual but that isn’t necessarily of particular import or significance.

It is too soon to determine what the end result will be from some of these things other than to say we are living during a pandemic with the most corrupt and incompetent president we have seen in my lifetime.

There is a base of true believers many of whom believe in the equivalent of witchcraft and worship this clown with messianic fervor.

Part of me finds it fascinating to watch as history unfolds and to be certain my grandchildren will ask me about this time of life and what it was like.

Another part would be happy to return to the mundane and standard but we don’t always get those choices now do we.

So here we are and here we go into an unknown future filled with ample amount of uncertainty and opportunity.

Should be a hell of a ride.

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