You Don’t Sound Canadian

Thirty years ago I spent the summer working in a camp outside of Toronto, talking about freeway shootings, sharing bits and pieces of trivia about what LA was really like and my Canadian heritage.

“You don’t sound Canadian but you don’t really sound like a regular American either.”

I scrunched up my face, tilted my head the way a dog does when he hears a funny noise and told the guy he didn’t sound Cuban.

“But I am not Cuban, so why would I sound like one.”

“I don’t know, why would anyone sound like anything.”

He wasn’t quite sure what to make of that and I was cool with it because I wasn’t sure what to make of him either.

A few people asked me if I had any skills that were particularly useful for camp life and I told them I was good at chopping wood, chasing off moose and bears and knocking down walls.

It was mostly true.

I was/am good at chopping wood, knocking down walls and have chased off real bears from campsites and a dog named Moose.

The Canadian Life

Been to Canada several other times besides that summer and have a few stories worth keeping a secret and some worth sharing.

Sometimes I think about what would have had happened had my great-grandparents not decided to move to the states.

Granted I probably wouldn’t be here and you who read these at least twice would miss out on not just your favorite writer but so much more.

I wouldn’t get to remind you that you said it all first and share creamy peanut butter, real saltwater beaches and ketchup sandwiches.

Hell, some people would be lucky to be trapped in the closet, stuck on an island or lost in 69 million other adventures with mates of soul.


Got about three minutes or so before I go Zoom with the guys, many of whom I have known for more than 30 years.

Funny to think that when we first started hanging out if we had said we were going to Zoom it would have had a much different meaning.

Now we’ll probably share a beer over the camera and or maybe some Scotch.

They are among the few that can get me to go back to the webcam because I find it irritating to have more than a few people on it because it is hard to have a conversation.

But I’ll join for a few because some things are important and because I’ll still have time to do some more writing…eh.

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