Perhaps it was a dream in which I told a girl who had been once been mine that she still was and that I would write a post about the unelectable Burning Sanders.
“Careful, the angry hordes will attack you and call you names for daring to write the truth about Burning Sanders.”
I nodded and told her that I could fight off all of the hordes regardless of whether she took my hand or not.
“You know I know you better than most and maybe better than any. I see what others can’t and picture what can be. All life is an act of faith, now give me your lips and I will show you.”
It was kind of ridiculous and kind of romantic but so it goes in this crazy world we live in.
My right hand betrayed me during bowling and I haven’t forgiven it yet.
Two games of flinging fourteen and fifteen balls down a lane demonstrated the fingers that I thought had healed haven’t quite done as they should have.
Today they ache a bit and refuse to behave as they ought to. Not enough to not work or to not play their roles as teammates of the others, but enough.
Enough to remind me they once bent in directions they were not supposed to and I wonder if 30 years from now they might choose to act up a little bit.
I don’t worry about it because I might not live long enough to see such days, but then again I might.
Either way it is too far ahead to concern myself with what they will or won’t do. Today I know they will return to form and that the hand grip I use will continue to help them grow stronger.
Today they work well enough in concert for people to occasionally comment on the strength of my grip and that proves some things work.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t notice the subtle ache or wonder if maybe that’s why my grip of the ball was off.
Not that it matters much, the grip on a bowling ball isn’t going to be substantive, just ask old Neville.
****
I am rattling cages and dragging sticks across bars today.
Shaking the chains and staring at quotes from a variety of sources and considering ways to weave a tapestry of sights, sounds and images.
Tonight I sit here considering whether I am further along the path than I thought or if I am farther behind than I should be.
It is a day in which I have fought to find balance which may not exist and perhaps engaged in acts of foolishness and folly.
Took a beating via email from multiple sources because of the failures of others.
Posted reasons why and solutions to challenges and await to see if they are enacted and if they fix the issues but hesitate to engage in full hope.
There are too many significant hiccups for these solutions to do more than offer bandages, but if the rumors are true the cavalry is coming.
Infrastructure is being built and moved into place, all we need to do is hold on.
Others demand action to which I respond, write away.
One day the castle doors shall open and we shall enter, safe, sound and secure.
