He Joined The Dumbest Cult Ever

Spent the last couple of hours trying to remove the cart I put in front of the horse while reminding myself the news I received didn’t mean anything…yet.

Told myself there was no point in letting excitement push me into wondering and worrying about things which might not ever materialize.

Took some doing to pull myself back because for a moment I swore it was divine providence lining up opportunity.

Reminded me of some particularly challenging moments where excitement was warranted but likely to lead to other challenges so I set out to distract myself.

Looked in the mirror and muttered Sometimes a Whisper is Louder but that didn’t do the job so I dipped into my bag of tricks and reminded myself of the neighbor.

Dude said he was part of the Cult of Trump and I said you mean the cult of Drumpf which as everyone knows is the dumbest one ever.

“Hey man, don’t cry because you lost.”

“Hey man, don’t cry because your man thinks New Mexico is going to pay for a wall through Colorado or that you’re worshiping a dope.

Hell, if I was dumb enough to join a cult it would be one where I didn’t have to work and got free sex from hot chicks.

You have fun in Amway for Assholes.”

Apparently he thinks I am rude.

Take A Chance

If you are of a certain age and hear someone say “Take a Chance” you might add the words “On me” to the phrase.

Heck, you might even put on a  jumpsuit and sing in your best Swedish accent,

“Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough
To last when things are rough, it’s magic
You say that I waste my time
But I can’t get you off my mind, no, I can’t let go
‘Cause I love you so”
And then people will give you strange looks and you’ll shrug your shoulders because you don’t care and keep going.
Or maybe not, maybe that is just me. Maybe I am the only one who climbs on top of a table in a coffee shop and screams “and so it begins!”
Be careful with that because the goofy looking hipster dude and his pilates trained girlfriend might be a bigger handful than you expected.
Fortunately long hair and long beards can be tied together which makes defending yourself against millennial age social justice warriors much easier.
You can look at them afterwards and remind them Generation X aren’t participation trophy winners.
We are the generation that spent countless hours after school unsupervised.
We are the connection between the digital and analog worlds and if you let us house sit while you went on vacation we did our best to make proper use of your empty homes…but I digress.
Got Teddy R. on my mind and a memory of a conversation with dad about how Mr. Roughrider was the kind of guy who seemed ready to do and try anything.
We talked a bit about taking chances and how some people we knew had so much money backing them up it was easy to take a chance because failure didn’t hold the same consequence for them as for others.
I am probably a little more of a daredevil than dad which is part of why we diverge in some areas and that is ok with me.
The same way it is ok that my kids are not carbon copies of me.
Anyhoo, I am on the verge of taking some big chances and rolling the dice to see if I can make some big moves.
It is kind of exciting and scary as I feel like I am going to try and jump a solid 18 foot over a canyon.
I can still put together a pretty good sprint and though I am not as fast as I once was I can hold my own in a foot race.
But I am less sure about what sort of spring is in my legs. During my younger years when I was playing ball I wasn’t necessarily jumping over guys but I could count on them to allow me to spring up multiple times in a moment.
I am not sure if they’ll do that anymore and they certainly provide the same lift as they did so when I take off it is uncertain whether I’ll fly as high and as far as need be.
That sort of uncertainty makes me want to be more cautious but I know I can’t let fear in. Fear makes you second guess your gut and this is a time for instinct.
Guess I’ll find out soon if I can still fly and whether I can put together a more graceful landing than Ralph in the Greatest American Hero.
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