I have eaten too many of the little cookies but not because I think I earned the extra calories from the exercise of earlier.
Pushed harder on the elliptical and told myself I am taking it too easy because I should be able to do three miles in less than an hour but my head told the ego to S.T.F.U. and ego said ok.
Drank a bigger glass of wine than I should have too and it wasn’t because of the exercise, ego or anything else either.
Didn’t haven’t it with the cookies but alongside of some tasty skirt steak.
Maybe it was because as I walked through the gym I swore I heard the moon whisper in my ear about promises made long ago and the need to fill them.
Or maybe it is because the voice made me jump and turned in a full circle trying to confirm from whence it came.
Strode into an empty locker room and stared at the mirror waiting for the voice to offer more comments and heard it ask/state, “Do souls mate?”
Pushed open the stall doors looking for George Burns or John Denver but didn’t come across either.
Nor did I find corporeal representation of the voice and so I thanked it for making it clear I am losing the final shreds of my mind.
Told the voice it is a bad time to mess with me because I am in no mood for games and that anyone who tries to yank my chain may find it wrapped it around their neck with me tugging on the other side.
The voice told me to S.T.F.U. and asked me to answer whether it is possible for adults to love each other unconditionally.
“Sure, it is possible but is it likely?”
The voice didn’t answer but the guy standing next to me asked if I was on the phone or talking to myself.
He walked out before I could answer and the voice asked me to go deeper.
“Sure, it could be a Daniel or it could be an Anne. But I don’t know if it has to happen when they first meet during that honeymoon phase or it could be later.”
The voice said both were possible and added several thoughts and another question but this time I didn’t answer out loud because I didn’t feel like explaining anything to them.
It did occur to me that given the proliferation of bluetooth they might not be surprised but I didn’t want to look like the clueless jerk who doesn’t care that not everyone is interested in his conversation.
A moment later the voice told me it isn’t a mind reader and said that if I wanted to have a conversation I would need to answer it.
“Why don’t you try contacting me when I am somewhere with some privacy so I don’t look like a jerk or a fool.”
One of the guys thanked me for saying it and told me he appreciated my trying to practice common courtesy.
Four hours later the voice remains silent so I either pissed it off or proved I really am losing the final shreds of my mind.
I vote for the latter and offer one request, if I really am losing it please make it quick and don’t let me know I am a step off.
Tomorrow I am going to throw two hundred and something pounds of man at a monstrous project that isn’t well developed or thought out.
Tomorrow I am going to follow Meat Loaf’s directions and hit the road like a battering ram not once, twice or three times but until my body breaks or the road bends to my will.
Once I have knocked some of the fight out of it I figure it will be easier force it to lay straight and start to figure out a plan for how to get from here to there in a reasonable way.
Was already told that what I want isn’t possible but wasn’t given a reason that sounded like it had substance or weight behind it.
Wasn’t told it is impossible, just that it is improbable and no one has done it yet…so I am going to do it.
It is not like climbing Everest, diving to the bottom of the sea or driving faster than the speed of sound so I know this is possible.
I just have to do it and then I can figure out how to do it better and focus on improving each time thereafter.
Confession, if the voice surprises me and comes back I have a few thoughts, questions and comments to give it.
If it asks me to provide an explanation for certain events I will use the Jane Austen quote above and say it is an excellent example of how it works.
You can’t always pick the precise moment when certain things happen nor fix exactly when you think they took place.
You can only acknowledge they did and say you have no regrets because life is too short to live otherwise.
