This might be the third post here and maybe the seventh or eighth of the day, I can’t really remember because too much has happened.
Feels like one of those days where you lurch and lumber from one thing to the next and then the other.
Had a conversation with someone who asked what I expect of the future and I said I’ll be a memory…maybe.
Some people won’t remember me and if they do, they won’t recall my name. I’ll just be a face they think they once saw…maybe.
Some talk about going to Canada, some talk about going to Europe in search of a better life but I don’t know that I see either.
Not convinced that Europe is a place that is going to be good for Jews or that underlying illness that led to my family leaving has been rooted out.
Chances are if I leave it will be for the homeland…maybe.
Tonight I feel worn out and worn down but that might not be the case tomorrow.
Sometimes you feel heartbroken, torn up and frustrated because that is what waves keep hitting you with.
A constant pounding that makes you wonder what you have to hold onto and if there is a reason other than because.
Y0u look at choices and decisions and wonder why they haven’t yielded the results you want and then there are the times where you don’t feel the need to do any of it because it is unnecessary.
Because you know every step you took placed you in the position you currently occupy and you see how that can lead you to somewhere better and more fulfilling.
I suspect today it is tied into a couple of things, but primary is the feeling that the body has declared mutiny.
Half of what I ate declared itself an unhappy resident and the workout of the evening was 2.5 miles of grit your teeth and keep going because it is not going to come easy today.
Just another day in America in which the evening rolls around and we ask if tomorrow will present reason to believe better is coming or more of the same.
A time where we can believe leadership is interested in providing for all and not just for some.
A new dawn where we can worry a little less about the world our kids are growing up in because we have more than just faith and hope to rely upon.
It is a strange time because circumstances and situations present themselves and I think that it serves as evidence of things I know, yet I question them anyway.
Days where we look carefully to see where we stand and who we stand with.
Can’t go through it all blindfolded and hopeful–have to make hard choices about what, who, where and when.
The days of not paying attention are fading and the time of change is coming.