Life Is…Blurry

I wrote two posts on Saturday but the second one was superior to the first, or so it seems to me.

Got Ringo singing in my ear and a million more memories floating around as I try to make sense of the inexplicable and the obvious.

Purchased a plane ticket to fly back to LA for dad’s unveiling and was shocked by how similar it felt to that crazy time when I got word to get back because we didn’t know how long he would make it.

The weather today reminds me a bit of that July dash across country, because it was hot and humid…like today.

Today is 11 months since dad died and life is…blurry.

What I was certain of has changed and been turned upside down and inside out while other things that I was unclear on have suddenly become…clearer.

Eleven months ago I stood by his bed and held his hand one last time.

Took that final moment alone and whispered a few words wondering if his spirit was there to here my request and promise or if I had missed the opportunity.

I watched them load his body and walked alongside as they loaded him into the back of a minivan fighting the urge to ask if he was properly strapped in.

It didn’t matter anymore, nothing more could happen to hurt him or make him uncomfortable.

All that was left was the impact upon family and friends.

Mom, my middle sister and I went to breakfast at the local Jewish deli and tried to make sense of it all.

Eleven months ago some things were far less blurry than they are now.

One Crisis After Another

My Facebook feed is filled with people fighting about one thing or another.

There are the endless arguments about the most authentic way to barbecue cats mixed in with people arguing about why it is offensive to use concentration camps to describe aspects of Trump’s immigration plan.

I can see the problem with using concentration camp as a descriptor but don’t understand why detention camp isn’t seen by both sides as being something we need to address.

Or more importantly I don’t understand why people think they can excuse poor treatment of others because they see those being mistreated as having earned it for breaking the law.

If a police officer arrested someone for jaywalking or beat them for speeding people would take a second look and try to understand why/how that is ok.

They’d ask if the consequences were proportionate to the crime.

Push back and people say those being mistreated have a choice and that they didn’t have to come here but we don’t know that for certain.

We don’t know who risks what by staying wherever they ran from and whether their lives might be at risk.

Some people tell me I am being too easy on people by saying that and when I mention presumption of innocence they tell me the lie only applies to citizens.

It is a flawed and false argument that makes me question who they are.

Are they really willing to say they’ll let others suffer inhuman treatment because they don’t enjoy the same protections as US citizens. Are they really willing to tell others about American Exceptionalism while acting in ways that are arguably immoral and likely to create consequences we might not want to face.

The answer seems to be yes and it seems to be part of the current times in which we lurch and slide from one crisis to another.

Bad leadership, tribalism and a willingness to do unto others first before they do unto you is what we are about.

It is disheartening, especially for a man with hawkish tendencies.

We can do better.

We can find other ways to live up to the dreams of The New Colossus while protecting ourselves, but the question is will we.

I would have liked to have spoken with dad about this.

All By Myself

Asked Ma Bell to help me place a call but she refused and I remembered I am all by myself.

That is the j0b and that is how it goes.

I am on a different path now and where it leads I don’t know yet. Life is blurry, but time will tell.