I knew I’d love a sandwich called the Fat Slob and that it wouldn’t love me back just as I knew that one shouldn’t drag 160 pounds around Europe cuz it will bore and annoy you.
But we don’t always do the smart thing and so I grabbed the sandwich and pretended I am only 21 and not 50.
The cognitive dissonance worked for about 5 hours or so, long enough for me to finish work and have the best workout I have had at the gym in what feels like months.
Maybe it is because my daughter joined me and I got a chance to quietly show off a little bit. I walked her over to the bench press and started stacking plates on it and told her to watch “Daddy’s guns” flex.
She rolled her eyes but gave me the smile I used to get all the time…when she was still young enough to think of me as always being cool.
My baby girl indulged me as I moved through a shorter version of the weights and then we hit the elliptical and I smiled as I watched her go and go.
Somewhere around that time I felt the beginning of a familiar rumble and recognized the bill for the sandwich was about to come due.
Right before we finished I asked her if she had learned about the pink flamingo of porches of Europe in her AP Human Geography class and watched her shake her head.
I didn’t tell her that I have heard they are all over Cleveland because we were too busy hustling to the car so that I could handle important business within the confines and comforts of home.
Got a question not long ago whether I’d rather be Johnny Cash or Blackbeard and thought about it for a little bit.
Mulled over whether I’d link to Ring of Fire but opted to use Cocaine Blues just because.
Now there is truth in saying I am partial to Johnny and could tell you some stories but this is a family blog so we’ll walk a line, if not the line.
Excuse me while I duck cuz June’s got a massive black purse and you never can tell if she’ll swing it at my head 0r try to kiss me– probably both.
Anyway, I read a story not long ago regarding Blackbeard’s ship, the Queen Anne’s Revenge and how there is a supreme court case surrounding it.
I found the story about the ship to be interesting and have some interest in Blackbeard too, but I wonder what feelings I might have if I really knew more about the man as I am sure my idea 0f him is colored by the fond memories of riding Pirates Of The Caribbean at Disneyland and other fanciful pirate media.
Hell, I have kidded around more than once of quitting my job so I could become The Dread Pirate Roberts as it sounds like fun, but the real pirates are unlikely to be the kind of people I really want to emulate.
Something about it all reminds me of a conversation I once had on a flight from LA to Manhattan in the days before we stuck our earbuds in and tried to get lost in an electronic cocoon.
The guy next to me asked if I intentionally kept people from getting to know me and I said I sometimes wondered who was really interested in learning about who I really am.
He said it sounded kind of sad and suggested I be more open to opening up to people.
That is not the kind of thing you typically say to strangers but sometimes you have conversations on a flight that you wouldn’t have anywhere else.
I suppose it is the pseudo-anonymity.
Anyway I told the fellow I wasn’t against being seen but that I didn’t need the world to see me to feel good about myself or validated.
“Just a few and I am good.”
“Well than I wish you the few. If you don’t yet know them may you meet them soon.”
I thanked him and wished him the same.
Sometimes we meet those people in the strangest and most unexpected places. If we are smart we hold onto them and they hold onto us.
There has been a shadow following me for a while and now and it has thwarted every attempt I made to shine light upon it to force it away.
I tried a different tack and wrapped myself in it to see if I could absorb it and find a way to make it shine.
I failed each time and the failure frustrated me.
Felt like everything I tried fell short of the goals and expectations I set and it made me more angry than sad, but sad nonetheless.
Something about the workout I had today changed things. It was like Popeye eating spinach because when whatever was weighing me down left I felt a surge of energy.
Hell, I am still riding the surge and am tempted to go back to the gym to resume lifting but I won’t.
Got to catch at least 50 winks because tomorrow I have to rope the moon and pull it back to earth. It isn’t going to be easy, but I am the guy who has done it before and will do it again.
The damn shackles on my arms and legs have been broken and I am going to do everything I can to make tomorrow into one of those days where you wish it was 32 hours long because you are on a productivity roll.
Sometimes it pays to have blind faith in overcoming the shadows of the heart. Time to tip one back and do some more reading.
Be good y’all, tomorrow I am calling down the thunder.
