Love was lost and love was found. And when the dust had cleared and we saw through the mist we learned that lost love is isn’t always lost, nor is it always found.
We turned on the music and listened to the words and wondered if what we heard spoke of a past, present or if it didn’t refer to a future.
It happens as you and I work upon the spaces and places we occupy. We’re always rewriting the story of our lives never quite certain which door to open and which to close.
Sometimes we listen to a spring thunderstorm and think about our fingers intertwined and how we felt our souls smile and let my mind wander where it would.
Maybe it is the influence of songs written just a few years before our births and the familiar tale it weaves.
People have secrets, even those who say they don’t really do. They might not realize it but if you ask the right questions you’ll stumble upon them.
Most of my secrets aren’t really important. You wouldn’t call them important but for the request of another. They are secrets I share.
Perhaps the reason they aren’t important to me is because they aren’t mine. Maybe it is a mischaracterization to lay claim to them. Maybe it is more accurate to provide a different answer.
I don’t really know and I don’t think it matters. I keep them because they are important to the people who asked me to put them in my vault. Those requests come from people I love and hold close to my heart so I treat their secrets like my own.
But the few secrets I call my own are big. They are huge and at times they have made me wonder what I got myself into.
*****
She loves flowers and tells me that she has Laura Ashley sheets that would be perfect for our bedroom. There will be two stories and multiple bedrooms.
It is funny how some memories wash ashore for reasons you can’t quite identify. The moments of the past that creep up upon us unexpected are sometimes of no consequence and sometimes exceptionally meaningful.
Might have been an ad or maybe an overheard fragment of conversation that brought this particular piece of driftwood to shore.
The how and why are of interest because a man who likes to figure out how the puzzle pieces go together will sometimes provide large chunks of time to determining what goes where and how.
Then again he is also likely to ignore the how or why and spend more time focused on the what.
It is dark now. All we can see are outlines of our bodies and images of the world that we want to create. We’re uncertain and unsure about many things. Life has a way of getting in the way.
More introspection, more following the thread and some of it finally sinks in.
When good friends post pictures of their recently departed father and you’re still thinking about yours it is natural to take a look at the whole picture.
It is normal to think about all that was, all that is and consider all that might be.
And if you are like certain people you might suddenly realize your dad will never see you become a grandfather. It is a funny sort of thought because if you and your kids are of a certain age you don’t want to obtain that second title.
It is far too soon for the kids and you don’t want them to deal with parenting before they are best suited to do so.
Given the general uncertainty of life there never was a guarantee that dad would get to see you become grandpa so in some ways it is kind of silly to be upset by it.
Makes far more sense to say you are disappointed by all of the other life experiences he won’t get to share or maybe it is not silly at all.
Maybe it makes perfect sense because our parents never stop being our parents and we never stop wanting to share our lives with them.
Haven’t had a reason to wear a suit for a while but that is going to change very soon. So I took out my favorite to make sure it wasn’t wrinkled and to confirm it fits as it should.
The trousers were a little looser than the last time which made me smile but the jacket felt a hair tight in the shoulders and chest.
That elicited a growl of confusion and anger.
If the pants are looser one would think that there hasn’t been any weight gain creating issues so what caused the other issue?
Maybe it is the weights.
Maybe the progress there has affected change upon the body and the net effect is a slightly more muscular upper body.
It would be a welcome problem…almost any other time.
This week is less so because there are two significant meetings on Monday.
Things that could be of critical impact and it is always better to walk into such things not only looking the part but feeling good about it all.
Instead we’ll dance in the fire and do our best to roll with what comes or doesn’t come.
Throw on one more song and take a slow sip of beer and visualize a future outcome.
Later on I’ll be alone and think about this time, this moment and how these moments are woven together to create a patchwork quilt called life.
Won’t know if it worked or failed for a while, until we meet in the echoes of the future.
