I shouldn’t be surprised that what was locked up broke free or that what had been shackled broke free of its fetters because I knew its power.
But sometimes a man does what he thinks he must which is how I found a way to trick the beast into following me in the caverns below the surface.
I wasn’t surprised when he figured out my intent and was prepared for the battle that came. I was angrier, meaner and flat out nastier than he which is why I walked out and he didn’t.
Some would call it hyperbole and say it couldn’t be as I claim, but I was there. I saw and still bear the scars.
When I sealed the cave I believed it was the end of one chapter and the start of whatever would come next never believing there would be a change, except I was wrong again.
People plan and god laughs.
I knew that then but it wasn’t until I heard the music playing that I realized what had happened and understood.
The Music Keeps Playing
For a long while it was faint and I believed it to be imagination but after a while I recognized it wasn’t.
After a while I started to feel the presence of the rider and recognized he had gone into action and that it wasn’t a question of it but when.
There is an ethereal telephone line running between two tin cans and we hear the pings on the line which is how it becomes possible to see through and know things.
Doesn’t matter what is said because the veracity and validity of such things are compromised or verified by other stuff.
The energy flows and you can feel it radiate.
You can fan feel the pulse and the tingle or you can try to shut it down and ignore it for a bit.
Pretend that which is really is not even when you know such thoughts to be false.
Maybe you stay busy or focus so hard on other things you can tune out the hum of the rider and briefly forget.
I understand the reasoning and have done that from time to time. Have tried to use the tools and resources that would make such a thing work but it never lasts.
Never stays because I always know better and my nature is not to run the other direction but towards.
The funny part is how strong the urge to run the other way sometimes is. Because sometimes it seems like the smart move, create distance, take a breath and look around.
But I don’t plan on doing that this time.
If I said it is because at almost 50 I don’t have the stamina to do so it would song plausible and reasonable but it wouldn’t be true.
I have all I need and more.
What I don’t have is the patience to push away and start rowing. Not when I know the rider isn’t slowed down, fooled or stopped by water.
It is time to let him come.
What Comes Next?
You ask what comes next and I’ll shrug my shoulders. I don’t know when the rider will get here or exactly what will happen.
I have my theories and my doubts but I also have my convictions.
Maybe this is the beginning of the last 25 years of time here or maybe it is the beginning of another fifty.
Parts of me ache and Advil doesn’t fix those particular pains.
The nicks, scrapes and bruises gain entrance and admittance with greater ease than they used to and sometimes I wonder if this is just how it is.
If the decades of feeling and acting unbreakable has caught up a little bit or if there is a way to modify and adjust some things.
There might be.
Wouldn’t be surprised if there is a technique and or tool that that can be used to make those adjustments and will make some of this easier.
Never know for certain, maybe the rider will come with other music.
Either way it doesn’t matter because it is not if, but when.
I hear him.