“Your father wouldn’t like this. He wouldn’t act like this.”
“You didn’t know dad the way you think you did and I am not my father. We are very similar in many ways and very different.
I don’t have time to help you unfuck yourself so you can go play in traffic or throw yourself down the stairs.”
There isn’t time nor reason to explain why we are in a take no prisoners stage. Don’t have any inclination or patience to do more than salt the earth and burn a few bridges that lead to washed out roads and broken promises.
You Sound Very Angry
Someone asked me to make some adjustments here a while back and I did so even though I had no obligation to do so.
Since they have have been rude and have made a point to ignore me. I mentioned it in passing to someone else and got “you sound very angry.”
I told them I may be angry about a variety of things but this behavior doesn’t anger me. If it wasn’t in my face several times recently I wouldn’t give it a second thought.
But I did think about it for a moment and found it kind of silly. I am not sure how they found this joint or what they are trying to accomplish, but that is junior high nonsense and I am not sure what they think will happen.
Kind of reminds me of the country lawyer who spent time digging through all my stuff like a pig going to town on slop.
I suppose it is just a sign that I have free rent inside their heads, too bad I won’t get paid for it. But I suppose Hillary Clinton could say the same thing about Trump.
*****
There have been two more mass shootings during the past two weeks, one at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh and the other at the Borderline Grill in Thousand Oaks.
They serve as proof we haven’t learned a damn thing from the past mass shootings of the past few years.
Proof of the ineptitude of our leadership to do more than offer lip service and proof that we haven’t held their feet to the fire to make changes.
But these two strike me because they are far more personal to me.
I have been to Borderline many times and know people who still go there to go dancing. I know one of the sheriffs and the synagogue, well I know a former rabbi as well as members.
That doesn’t minimize or diminish the horror of things such as the massacre in Vegas or Pulse because they remain awful.
It is just an acknowledgement that these others had other reasons to stick with me on a deeper level and to voice another concern.
To ask if we have collectively become complacent about it all and if so, what does that mean for the future.
Three Weeks
We’re down to the final three weeks of my current hosting service so I either have to make a change before or know these places will go dark.
There are moments where going dark sounds good to me. Moments where I think about turning out the light and walking out to find whatever lies beyond or near the rainbow.
That would kill the emails and comments from people who think that all they read here describes who I am and what I am about in my entirety.
It is a decent reason for going away but it is not a good reason so it is unlikely I’ll choose it.
The better question is do I have the energy to keep going and do I believe the quality of the content consistently meets the standard I want it to.
I am driven in many ways and by many things but I am not locked into having to hit a home run every time but I do want to always get on base.
If I can’t turn a bad pitch into a double or better with consistency I am in the wrong business.
Three weeks used to feel like a long time but my guess is that it will pass far too quickly so I ought to put down the pen and do some more reading about what options are available to me.
Can’t just hold out my hand and expect it to be taken, got to work for it a bit.
Got to run now, there is a fire that needs tending.
