You Know What You’ll Do

The best conversations are with the reflection in the mirror but if it is because there are no interruptions or because of unconditional acceptance I can’t say.

Or maybe I can but choose not to.

We share counsel and commentary about the mundane and the things that are of paramount importance.

The burning questions of the moment and the millennia are discussed, mulled over and disposed of.

“You don’t need to ask for advice because you know what you’ll do. You have always known.”

We nod our head recognizing there is no benefit in suggesting otherwise.

“You’ll jump off that cliff and either grow wings or build a parachute mid fall.”

A wry smile crosses our faces because the wings might not grow or the parachute might not be built and the impact of the fall might not be pleasant.

“Fortune favors the bold.”

We nod our heads in unison and agree that we will find out.

I Can See You Naked

She tells me not to stare so hard at her because it makes her uncomfortable. I say it doesn’t matter because I can see her naked anyway.

She rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head.

“It is true. You do remember that time.”

“I was there and I remember. Stop it. That is not being a gentleman.”

“I gave up being a gentleman for Lent.”

“You’re Jewish. You don’t observe Lent.”

“Damn, it is Friday and I sure would have preferred a steak.”

The joy of a being an almost writer is the dialogue never stops writing itself. We don’t need to see the other side of the Polaroid to know what is there because the story lives in our head already.

So we turn on Harvey Danger and sing along with Flagpole Sitta.

I had visions, I was in them
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
Rottenness and evil in me
Fingertips have memories
Mine can’t forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(But no one ever does)
I’m not sick but I’m not well
And I’m so hot cause I’m in hell
Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don’t even own a tv

The machine is supposed to make it easier to stretch so that people remain loose and limber but it doesn’t help you to not make the kind of faces your parents didn’t want to show in your school pictures.

“You are not providing much incentive for me to get on there.”

“They pay me to keep people off of this machine.”

“Is it good money?”

“Keeps beer in the fridge.”

“How do I get that job?”

“You have to recite PI to 35 decimal places or bring him a slice of Geraci’s pizza.”

“Where is Geraci’s?”

“Cleveland.”

“That good?”

“I don’t know, but I know a few people who vouch for it. Doc says if I walk from here to there I can eat a whole pie by myself.”

“You’re seeing the wrong guy, that ought to cover two or three.”

We go back and forth for a few more and he tells me he is feeling his age.

“How old are you?”

“I’ll be 49 on my next birthday.”

“Got you beat, I’ll be 50.”

For the second time in a week I am told I don’t look like I am close. I thank him and we do the old man talk about exercise and diet.

“I don’t want to become diabetic or have kidney trouble. So I am working on my diet.”

I laugh and ask him if we share the same genes.

Follow The Footprints

I am fighting to get through this particular workout. It started out fine but I am missing a few ZZZZ and am distracted by some outside stuff.

Decide it is time to mix it up a bit and turn on happier music and find a way to pump out three more sets on the bench.

My new gym pal says that the weightlifting is extra effective at warding off diabetes and I am extra determined to take advantage of it.

I always do my time on the treadmill but I like the lifting better.

Can’t decide if it is because throwing iron around is easy and cardio is hard or if there is some other reason.

Can’t decide if it is a combination but figure none of it really matters that much because I am going to keep doing it.

Going to keep pushing because fear of inaction drives me as much as the adrenaline rush I get.

“Fortune favors the bold right,” the reflection nods his head at me and say ‘yeah’ and keep going.

“You know what you’ll do.”