If You Are What You Eat Maybe We Should Talk

It was a three car dealer day but technically two of them were follow up visits.

Went from Carrollton to Hurst to test drive, discuss and compare dollars and am 95 percent of the way to making a decision about what direction to go in.

There is a pretty good chance that I’ll be back in a Toyota for the first time in 22 years or so it appears tonight.

I told them what is required to close the deal and thanked them for being 987 percent better than the jackass at the Hyundai dealer I hit first thing this afternoon.

The clown told me that I ought to look into driving the same car as he does because he is 6’4 and thinks it is comfortable.

I told him I wasn’t interested and he asked me for my driver’s license so we could test drive it. I repeated I wasn’t interested and he said I was making a mistake.

“We’re done. Thank you.”

He sputtered something about second chances and tried to convince me to stay.

I said no and for a moment I wondered if he was going to try to block my path but common sense made sure he didn’t and it was off to the next dealer.

If You Are What You Eat Maybe We Should Talk

The thermostat says it is around 100 or so but the sweat pouring down my forehead makes it seem like it might be slightly warmer.

A salesman hands me a piece of paper with specs and pricing to review.

“Can I get you a cold drink or something to snack on while we talk?”

I keep the smartass response to myself and ask for water. He is trying hard and I appreciate his effort because I appreciate he is trying to take my measure and figure out what I am about.

“You’re $50 dollars a month beyond the realm of compromise. If you drop a $100 I’ll sign now. I don’t think you can do that and I won’t waste our time here.

When you go back to the office tell your guy that I need an answer in 15 minutes and that I have two other dealers who think they can meet my terms.”

“Mr. Josh, this is not the first time you have done this.”

“Matt, there are much better and tougher negotiators than me. I don’t need to grind you for every penny. I just want to feel good about my deal. If it can’t happen let me know and you can focus on the next guy.”


Matt leaves and I softly sing along with the music.

I really do like him because he is pleasant, courteous and is trying hard to work with me. But he isn’t responsible for paying my bills so pleasant doesn’t take us very far.

“Mr. Josh, my manager offered 3 years of service and a payment I think you’ll call fair. What do you think?”

“I drove about 22,000 miles in the last 12 months. This won’t be three years of service for me and I am not interested in an 84 month term for this vehicle. Thank you for your time, I have to go now.”

It took about 25 minutes to drive to Hurst and by the time we got there I had three text messages from Matt telling me how they had discovered a way to get me into the car I really wanted with a better deal than before.

They were right, the deal was better, almost good enough to make me turn around.

But I didn’t appreciate their trying to grind it out to see what I might or might not accept, especially when I already knew the pricing at Hurst was pretty close to where I want to be.

A Proposition For You

There are moments when bells go off and you swear you can hear people singing in the wires and not because you or I are the Wichita Lineman.

A different car salesman is telling me a story about how good a deal is possible if I help him beat up the GM and or owner.

“I have a proposition for you. If you cut the bullshit I will save you from mine and we can figure out whether this is going to work.”

“Sir, I am not trying to make anything up, I want you to know I am fighting for you.”

“Right. My ego isn’t tied up in this. I have no idea what sort of kickbacks, spiffs and or deals the manufacturer, dealership and or sales manager are offering you guys. I don’t believe you’ll push a deal through where you lose money and I am not asking you to.

We both know the net makes research easy and that I can get a hold of all sorts of ‘inside information’ and email 25 dealers to see who will take my offer. As long as it is reasonable someone will.

I don’t want to waste time or have to drive 100 miles. That is why I am propositioning you.”

He laughs and tells me I sound like a salesman and I smile and say I want to sound like a storyteller.

“What sort of stories would you tell Mr. Josh?”

“Stories about people. Maybe one where I could incorporate the Neruda quote.”

“Can you make one up on the spot?”

“Red dress, blue  dress. It doesn’t matter to me, You are fucking beautiful and you make me crazy. That is why I am going to walk away from you.”

The salesman looks at me and asks why the guy would walk away and I say it is just a story I made up on the spot.

“Sounds pretty real to me.”

“That is what stories about people are supposed to do…sound real. It makes it easier to draw people in.”

The Wise Old Elephant

I’d like to step into the picture and ask the wise old elephant to share his wisdom with me or at least the sunset.

I have a couple of big decisions to make and some of the people I would normally ask for guidance aren’t available.

Their advice isn’t a necessity and I am confident of my ability to pick a direction without them but sometimes it is nice to have access to a different point-of-view or perspective.

Sometimes it is nice to reach out to someone who is two steps removed and can provide you with help in finding clarity.

And sometimes you haven’t any option other than to just make a decision or wait and see how it all unfolds.

Ain’t life grand.

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