I figure somewhere between where the broken people hide and the moon there is a decent copy of The Eagles performing Seven Bridges Road but I didn’t find it tonight.
Might be lack of effort or just sheer exhaustion–hard to say for certain but I do know I took a three hour nap today.
I hadn’t planned on writing today or tonight thinking that I ought to just shut it all down and let the entire system reboot and reset.
‘Cuz if things go as I suspect they might I am going to need to be read to go hard and long without much rest but some days the great brain says screw logic, reason and rational thought and just pushes ahead.
At least I figure that is part of why I have been fighting with the fools who claim there is no connection between anti-Zionism and Antisemitism.
In between I have taken on some others about other issues and wondered if there is any point to trying to build bridges to nowhere.
Building A Bridge To Nowhere
In a different moment in time I would listen to this and smile while I typed out rational responses to those disagreeing with my words because the lurkers might be swayed by what I pumped out.
Except these days same as it ever was has a different feel to me and if I chose a Talking Heads song it might be Road To Nowhere or Burning Down The House that I’d use.
I am less inclined to put my energy into trying to convince people who pump out hate to take a different tack and more focused on blowing off steam.
Maybe I could channel it and be more like Maximus in the clips of Hero Of The Day.
Hell, I attack the weights with a vengeance at the gym. The one trainer says I ought to smile more when I am in there.
I tell him I’ll smile when I am done. Now if I attack my diet with the same energy we’ll see some more significant changes a little bit sooner.
But now the dreams and waking screams
That ever last the night
So build a wall, behind it crawl
And hide until it’s light
So can’t you hear your babies crying now?Mama, they try and break me
Mama, they try and break me
Mama they try
Mama they try
There is no manual or guide for this time nor well defined path to follow so I push on ahead knowing there is no other way to figure it out.
Got two teens watching how I walk and responding in their own ways to all they see and I find myself wondering sometimes how much to say or not say.
Is it better to show my entire hand or leave a few cards covered?
Will they feel better or worse if I do?
What is best for them is always part of the equation but I wonder at this point how much more influence I have on some things.
In so many ways they are who they are, at almost 14 and 18 the foundation has been laid and they have had years to develop their own ideas.
Not to mention those same ideas will evolve over time and that is not a bad thing.
A Few More Thoughts
I think of this song in a different way than I ever have.
There is a story that I’ll have to write one day but I don’t know where or if I will post it.
Something about it all feels rather movieish, maybe that is why Les Miserables fits into this particular thought or maybe not.
****
It is not much standing on the sidelines at 8 AM when it is in the 30s and damp-even less when the weatherman says it is equivalent to 26 degrees.
I haven’t any doubt that no matter how things play out life will continue as it always does. There will be moments of joy and sadness with all the feelings that come in between.
These mumblings and mutterings often strike me as being foolish, disorganized and disjointed. I think about deleting them all.
There are a few I would feel confident in submitting as samples of my writing. A few that have a solid rhythm and beat that resonates with me.
But do they do the same for others?
Hard to say.
You never know what moves or motivates people. Never can say what will make someone reach out or run away faster.
The children will say that last part is silly and that we know but I am talking about the shades of gray they don’t realize affect all people.
They haven’t lived long enough to see that adults are often no different from kids, that we make the same arbitrary decisions about life.
Or in simpler terms, they don’t see how often adults ignore their own advice and do whatever they want the same way teens do.
One day they’re going to call me about that. One day that will be a conversation.
I kind of look forward to it because they’ll be grown ups who have lived a bit and they’ll have a much better understanding of how and why certain things are.
In the interim I guess I can keep building bridges to nowhere, at least I’ll stay busy and out of trouble.
