There is magic in a heart that has been torn apart and rebuilt, or so a friend once told me.
It was part of a much longer tale of him and another that was worthy of a book or movie, or so I told my friend.
“You really do come from LA, don’t you. Why don’t you ask one of your fancy Hollywood friends to read the script and then make the movie.
I shook my head and told him I wouldn’t dare impinge upon his story and he told to GTFO.
“I like it when grownups use text speak to insult me. Go take a Viagra and ask your main squeeze for a squeeze, ya need it, ya raggedy maggot.”
He said something about me doing a piss poor job of imitating a pirate and I asked him how his prostate is.
“Am I the only man pushing 50 who has noticed a need to shake the weasel with greater frequency than before?”
“No, you are not and you suck for bringing up old man stuff instead of sticking to movie quotes, comments about women and witty banter in general.
“Suck it dude, we’re old.
Keep On Keeping On
I don’t remember ever hearing this song before today, but it caught more than my ear.
Can’t say if it is the lyrics, music or the combination of them all. Can’t forget the timing, no sir, no ma’am because the timing plays a big role.
Got news that I prayed not to get and before I could catch my breath I got supplementary good news all before 10 AM.
Called the friend, he of the magic of the broken heart and told him all about the news.
“It feels like I ought to play the Breaking of The Fellowship in the background. Gandalf has fallen and Frodo feels like the burden of being the ringbearer has quadrupled. He can’t stand to put anyone else at risk so he takes off.”
“Frodo had Sam to accompany him. You don’t have a Sam to watch your back.”
“Nope, I don’t, I have to do it myself.”
The response that followed provided ample clarity as to the depth of his disagreement with my position but it didn’t change anything.
“You don’t have to like it but you have to deal with it just as I am. If you are smart you’ll be a good man and compartmentalize. Put your feelings away, they can’t help you here and can only hurt.
Wisdom And Walking
What you have in the picture above is one of my favorite shots of a Texas sunset. I took it in a park in Grapevine near my old house using my iPhone.
It makes me smile not just because of the memories but because it feels to me like the beginning of opportunity.
That is where my focus lies now, opportunity.
Those that I can see and those that I haven’t yet uncovered. To me the real magic of a broken heart is what comes after it heals and you feel as if you have been reborn.
The walk around that park restores me and it always makes that heart feel like it is almost new again.
I don’t do well when I hold still and let my imagination run away with me. Exercise keeps me balanced and helps me remember who I really am and not who I sometimes feel like.
Exercise helps take off the edge and produces perspective that enables me to find ways to turn ordinary into extraordinary.
At least it does sometimes.
Sometimes it doesn’t and I end up going elsewhere to search for answers.
I stared at the email and thought about what it said and what it didn’t.
It was a sad and sterile thing devoid of warmth. The response I typed was none of those things.
Colorful language and powerful persuasive words peppered the piece but in the end I chose not to send it.
Why?
Because I wasn’t willing to provide a response to a conversation that never really happened. The other party would likely disagree but I knew we had never discussed the matter.
So I went dark,
Radio silence to be maintained until they reached out to me or until I had a burning sensation in my pants that required immediate relief.
Somewhere in the darkness I heard the voice of an old college professor encouraging us to review our work and make sure our words were swoon-worthy.
I thought about deleting them all, from every place they have been inscribed and starting over…maybe.
It was the news from earlier that made me want to do so because a part of me said burn it all down and start over.
I didn’t then but I might later or maybe not.
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Gandalf might have fallen in Moria but he doesn’t die and instead comes back stronger than before.
Books like those Gandalf appears in aren’t based upon reality but they serve as reminders that some of the character growth and development we see there can also happen here.
I just hope I don’t have to fight a balrog to make it happen. There has to be an eaier way…I hope. 🙂
