When Death Meets The Chase For Perfection

One of my neighbors told me he hates talking about sports with me because I am angry my teams aren’t any good right now.

I told him anger isn’t the reason I think JR Smith is an overrated dirty player or that the leastern conference is a joke.

I respect Lebron, but if he played in the West his team might not have made it as far as they have because they would have real competition.

Though I always root for West over East  I am not enamored with the Warriors or think they are particularly special. I’d match them against some of my favorites any time and enjoy watching the Dubs go down.

What I find most disappointing about all of this is the suggestion that disagreement means someone is angry, it is not.

It is just a difference of opinion.

When Death Meets The Chase For Perfection

The funny thing is I am in the midst of a frustrating moment in time and I am angry with some people and about some things but sports isn’t a part of it.

I like the silly debates because they are inconsequential. Doesn’t matter whether I am right or wrong here, nobody lives a better or worse life.

But the mud I am slogging through, well that is a different story because there could be a real and significant impact.

My choices matter and I am fighting with all I have got to do the best I can.

Don’t care if it is an exaggeration or not, at the moment it feels a lot like me against the world. That is not the most comfortable position to be in.

Would be nice to get the occasional hug and to feel like it is not me climbing Everest with nothing but my hands and a frayed rope.

So I write some of these ridiculous posts to gain perspective and because they help me see I have made significant progress.

*****

Told a buddy of mine the other day I push the kids to do the best they can but refuse to say I demand perfection.

It is unattainable and places ridiculous amounts of pressure upon them. I am not interested in making them feel like crap to chase the impossible.

It is stupid.

I don’t care about grades either because those are a joke. There is no uniform standard for measurement.

I’d rather they learn to push themselves and to demand their best out of themselves without turning it into some crazy thing.

I hear too many stories and see too many issue in young people to do that.

There is a balance to be had and it doesn’t come with six hours of homework every night.

Sometimes things happen that remind me of that, like the news my aunt died.

Death’s Sweet Embrace

My aunt lived a long life and no one is going to say she died too young. They are not going to say she didn’t work hard enough in school or tell you all of her academic accomplishments.

Don’t mistake this to mean I don’t want to see my children add more to their list of accomplishments or suggest that I am promoting ignorance.

Not in the slightest, education is of paramount importance to me.

But there is a line and across that line is the place where you talk about relationships.

I want them to be good friends and to have good friends in return.

As they go through life they’ll continue to learn and experience things, some of which will include hard moments.

Moments where they learn that some people don’t stick around forever and that is hard. It doesn’t get any easier at 48 than at 17 either.

But it is a part of growing and learning how to let go gracefully is important as is recognizing the value of not burning bridges.

Sometimes you need to spend time apart from others to learn that you want them to be a part of your life or that you do not.

Commit To Something

I intended to be back at the gym early this morning and had played around with walking over to the damn beer festival from there.

But people plan and G-d laughs so I didn’t hit the gym until about two and when I finished working out it didn’t make sense to go drink.

Thought about it, walked part way and then muttered “commit to something” and wandered back to the car.

My body hurts in the most delightful way, no snark intended.

It is as familiar as heartbreak but far more enjoyable. It is going to take some time but I feel such a high afterwards I can’t imagine not continuing.

Just need to push hard to stimulate the muscle memory and to recover some of what was lost.

Should have started this sooner, but better late than never.

Feels pretty damn good and it is not a bad way to reduce stress.

I have always said it is on my top five ways to die, but hopefully that is a chunk of years away.

Got to head out and do some walking, be back later to write a bit more…maybe.

• Saved: Children, Life