I am half step slow and a quarter off of my game and certain that is how I ended up getting pulled over for speeding
Got the weight of the world resting on my shoulders and the stress strain of carrying the load has been catching up with me.
Grinding my teeth led to snapping one of them and lack of sleep made me a little bit grumpier than normal.
Add in all of the other concerns and it is easy for me to see how I ended up asking for a warning. Words don’t convey how grateful I am for it or how it turned my whole day around.
Nor does it help me express my irritation with those who misunderstand and or are misguided to think I don’t see/hear what is going on around me.
Don’t mistake my quiet for not caring or being oblivious.
Empty Seats At The Table
Won’t be long before we celebrate my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah and I get a chance to show her my kvelling in public.
My not so little girl has been working her butt off and I only wish that some dear relatives and friends could be there to fill the empty seats at the table.
They would be so very proud and it doesn’t take any effort to see or feel the smile and warmth that would have come from them.
Even though I have become accustomed to not seeing them at family functions there are moments like now where their absence jumps out at me.
Given the ridiculous state of political affairs I am especially disappointed not to be able to share some of the narishkeit with them.
I can only imagine the comments and looks those conversations would have generated.
They never would have believed the stories and would have wanted to accuse me of making that crap up.
Well, I am pretty good at making crap up…when I want to.
But I am less good at taking it, especially when I don’t respect those who are giving it. Gah, the stupid is so very strong in some people.
Daughters and Boyfriends
My soon to be 13-year-old told me I need to accept certain things such as that one day she will have a boyfriend and that girls are much smarter than boys.
I told her trying to convince me of either thing was a losing battle and that I was the stealthiest ninja and smarter than lots of girls.
She said she could name girls who would disagree with me and that I wasn’t allowed to name dead women as proof of my intelligence.
I give her credit for trying to outflank me there because she has learned I will try and set things up so that I can win.
Said conversation also convinced me that the future boyfriend(s) may wish that dear old dad beat them silly because what I do will never be as painful as the beating she may give them.
Of course those who are worthy will find themselves with an amazing girl and will be lucky beyond belief.
That leads me to the part of the conversation where I told here there will be rules for dating.
“What kind of rules dad?”
“They have to be able to pull Excalibur from the stone or lift Thor’s Hammer.”
This got an eye roll and head shake to which I responded, “I am serious.”
“Why did I get the crazy father.”
She could have at least made it a question and not a statement.
Seasons– Chris Cornell
You Know My Name– Chris Cornell
You Get What You Give– New Radicals
My Favorite Hurricane– Nashville
Don’t Look Back– Boston
Hurt– Johnny Cash Cover
If I Could Start Again
Silently singing along with Johnny knowing I have started again more than once and am in the middle of doing it one more time.
Song ends and Johnny moves onto Ghost Riders in the Sky and I smile and keep the silent singing going.
Looks like I am still trying to catch the devil’s heard as it moves across the sky.
Still haven’t found the next place to hang my hat but am confident I’ll get it soon. Not worried about having a place, just hoping to get something that I really like and might even love.
They say you can do anything for a year and I guess I’ll find out soon whether that is how I want to measure time.
With a bit of luck things will be not just good, but great and I’ll be amazed at how fast the moments move.
For now I am getting ready for a lot of work to be done in a small amount of time.
It is not how I want to do it, but I know how to walk upon the razors edge when necessary. You do what is required and hope you do it right and well.
And one day you turn around and see you made an ordinary moment or two into something extraordinary and smile because you were smart enough to be aware and present during it.
See you on the other side.