The weight of a promise is never uniform for individuals because some of us wear them like the yoke of a plow and others like a feather in our hair.
This I know from personal experience and some of you can attest to my willingness or unwillingness to move heaven and earth to make things happen.
Some have asked me to explain how I make these decisions and I have shrugged my shoulders and said madness is as madness does knowing full well it is not a satisfactory answer.
But that is the beauty of people, we are not logical or rational beings.
Emotion and flight of fancy fuel our fires and move us to or to not take action.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost
I have agonized over the path I didn’t take and questioned whether doing so made me a fool or a sage.
Under moonless nights I have paced for hours in deep contemplation of and about it never coming to a satisfactory conclusion about what I should have done.
Sometimes I found respite in a moment and sometimes in something else but always there was this nagging sense that I had more to do and the journey was where I would find the answers I needed.
About The Promises We Make
In less than two weeks a young master shall take his first solo plane ride to come stay with me.
When he does we’ll talk about the promises we make and the road not taken.
If things come close to going as I hope he’ll let me make like John Henry and pound one hell of a tunnel through a wall and follow me out the other side.
Or maybe he’ll spot the bonfires I have lit and see the rockets I have fired across the night sky..
Can’t say, don’t know and am doing my best not set my expectations too high because there is disappointment and heartbreak involved in that.
That is not to say I can’t handle either because I have and I can. I have been fed both by the spoonful and the shovel.
They aren’t the tastiest of treats but if you are given enough you figure out how to manage them.
But I am prepared for it all because it is tied into the sort of promise I won’t back down from or break.
That is noteworthy because not all merit such attention and trust.
We can fall, but we can’t fail, not this one.
Kill The Cold
I don’t about you but one of the things I most dislike about being sick is not feeling “sharp.”
I am usually fast on my feet and pretty good at coming up with snappy, if not always funny responses…except when I have a killer cold.
Speaking of killer colds this one began sneaking up on me last week in Jacksonville and though I managed to hold it off for a while it eventually caught up with me.
Hell, the sucker took a baseball bat to my head and body and for a while I was pretty miserable.
Was desperate for sleep but couldn’t grab more than a couple of moments here and there and found myself in the very bad position of having to work.
I cannot confirm nor deny that a couple of conversations were…awkward.
Who Wants to Live Forever– Queen
Don’t You (Forget About Me)– Simple Minds
God’s Gonna Cut You Down– Johnny Cash
Closer– Nine Inch Nails
I am… I said– Neil Diamond
Phantom Of The Opera– Phantom
Seasons Of Love– Rent
Babe I’m Gonna Leave You– Led Zeppelin
The Bionic Woman Theme
Drowning In A Whiskey River
So we move out of our music break with Willie singing Whiskey River in the background and ancient memories of being a kid watching Smokey and the Bandit.
Somewhere in between when I started writing this post and now something changed and I feel distinctly better.
It is almost like someone flipped a light switch and the world looks a lot nicer than it did not so long ago.
That is a very good thing because there is a significant amount of pressure upon me and I have to find a way to make things happen.
Guess I ought to sign off and get some rest because tomorrow we cross the Rubicon and there is no going back.
It is kind of exciting and scary but that is life. Time to push hard and prepare for the young master and the chance to do great things.