You Must Take A Lover Or Suffer

“You must take a lover or suffer.”

The words hung in the air and I said nothing.

At first it was because I was unsure what had been said and then because I wasn’t sure how to respond.

These are not words you expect to hear from a strange woman, especially in public, but in the season of Trump and Clinton not much shocks me anymore.

“I am not kidding. You must take a lover or you will suffer.”

This time I didn’t wait, I virtually shouted back.

“I can’t decide if I should go for a nasty woman who wishes me to ask for permission to grope her or an ordinary gal. What should I do?”

This time I was graced with the presence of the words left unanswered.

We continued walking and I wondered if the silence was my answer and thought about how it is a particularly female response.

That silence is used in so many ways, sometimes to discourage and sometimes to encourage but we men often find we don’t know which way to interpret it.

That is the problem with not being mind readers.


I Am Serious

The moments passed and then she said, “I am serious” but I didn’t know what she was serious about.

“Are we still talking about taking a lover? Are you still saying I have to take one or I’ll suffer because I am lost now.”

Again we walked in silence but only for a moment because this time I was the first to speak.

“Do we define a lover as someone we love or are in love with or someone we are sleeping with?”

She didn’t respond so I said screw it and kept speaking.

“Ya know, I think we probably do a lousy job of telling people we love them, or that they are really important to us. Hell, sometimes I think we flat out lie about it.”

The silence continued which only encouraged me to fill the gap.

“I like silence and I am very comfortable with it. In another moment I’ll simply stop speaking and you’ll never know what I think.

Hell, maybe I’ll tell everyone you said that you’ll suffer if you take a lover. What do you think about that?”

That was ignored as well, not that I was really all that surprised because she had never been speaking with me.

We we were both walking on the trail in the park I walk through each day, except she was yelling into her cellphone and I was just walking.

Most of the time I walk with my headphones on and wouldn’t have heard anything but today I just happened to come across her before I turned them on.

She was so loud and oblivious about her surroundings I couldn’t help but start responding to her comments. I kept waiting for her to notice, but she never did.


I am not a huge Maya Angelou fan but that quote strikes me as having some real power in it and behind it.

Sometimes people need a reminder that there is an open hand waiting for someone who is brave enough to take it.

Pretty damn scary for some to open up and take the risk, so I suppose I see how and why they might not.

At the moment I am grateful to have clarity about something because there is all sorts of blurry crap floating around every where else.

Will make for a hell of a story one day.

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