“You always thought you were faster than the car and I wasn’t about to try to convince you otherwise. Don’t know that I could and it wasn’t my job to make you figure it out, that was yours.”
Those might not be the exact words my paternal grandfather used but he is not here to debate it and if he was, well I am confident grandpa would say I was right.
He’d tell me a smart man didn’t bang his head against the same wall over and over and that a clever one figured out which key worked.
Don’t know precisely why but it reminds me of a conversation I had long ago with someone who said they would never be the first person to say I love you.
Should I add that Carol King is playing Will You Love Me Tomorrow?
Had I thought about it I probably would have quoted Shakespeare.
Throw Caution To The Wind
I remember telling grandpa that I always knew I would beat the car and that I still could.
He laughed and said he was half blind and that he didn’t have a license anymore.
“Grandpa, your grandson may be a fool sometimes but he is no sucker.”
He laughed and told me not to let myself get boxed in.
I sort of forgot that for a while and let myself start to believe some of the obstacles and challenges were bigger than they really were.
Life happened and it forced me to take a hard look at things and remember who I was is not who I am or necessarily who I will be.
And it reminded me the truth about “bad timing” is that it is a lie we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better.
It is the excuse we use not to deal with some things that are hard.
The nice thing about Neruda is you can apply his words in so many different ways.
You can take that quote above and say it is applicable to two people in almost any stage of a relationship.
Maybe it is a little heavy for friendship but then again you could say it is part of a conversation about trust.
It is about extending your hand and being confident it will be received.
Some people have a harder time taking risks so they don’t reach out when they could or say what they really want to say because of caution.
Teaching Moments
Many years ago a dear friend told me he wished he could be as unfiltered as I am.
“You don’t care if people like you or worry what they think. You just say what is on your mind.”
I laughed and told him it was partially true because there is a short list of people whose opinion matters to me.
“I probably should be a little more circumspect about it but sometimes people are more offended by truth than lies.”
Looking back I still believe what I have said but I acknowledge sometimes it is easier for people to make excuses.
We might not believe they believe what they are saying either, but unless they give you the keys to the kingdom it is hard to say for certain.
I have had more than a few experiences that have served as teaching moments for me on that account.
Some fires are eternal and some are temporary and sometimes we can’t which is which because the flames have become tiny sparks.
The thing is those tiny sparks just need a little air and given that those flames will start burning as brightly as they ever did.
*****
Fifty doesn’t sound old anymore but I can still beat that damn car.
Tell grandpa his grandson is just as relentless as ever but that he has learned a trick or two and those continue to serve him well.
Caution is nice but it doesn’t lend itself to you learning what the real truth is about certain things now does it.
Fade out with Johnny Cash singing Ring of Fire.
Again, Joshua, the timing of your post is impeccable for me.
I love the fire theme. And I love what you said: “The thing is those tiny sparks just need a little air and given that those flames will start burning as brightly as they ever did.” You’ve no idea how much that meant, how much I needed to hear that profundity in all its simplicity, meaning so much. Thanks for another great post!
I am so glad it resonated with you. It means a lot to hear that people appreciate the words we share here. The simple stuff is sometimes hard but so important, useful and meaningful yet somehow we overlook it.