I am still thinking about the moment they placed the mask on my face and how fast things went to black.
Still thinking about whether I had a dream or dreams while I was under or if everything faded to black and all that was left was silence.
It pleases me to think I spoke with an an angel or wise man about life and that they answered all of my questions about why we are here and what are purpose is.
The idea that I reached across the veil and by force of will pulled them into our plane so that I might educate myself further feels like the kind of story I’d like to hear and one I’d like to tell.
It is easy for me to look deep within and feel like for a brief moment I knew all I needed to know and that upon waking the knowledge was taken from me.
I can almost hear a voice suggesting that knowledge that was stolen and unearned is dangerous and since I am a guy who try to steal fire, well it makes sense to ask me to go get it.
The Dream You’re Living
Inside my ears I have Robert Plant & Alison Krauss singing a cover of The Everly Brothers”Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)” while my fingers fight to paint a picture you can see inside your head.
My stomach aches and I keep shifting positions wondering how long it will take for my body to finish fixing the parts the surgeon manipulated so that we can operate as a team and not as individual players.
My daughter thinks it is funny to hear me say I have an innie again and I can’t blame her because it sounds kind of funny to me too.
Somewhere in the night my teenage son waits for my call and I wonder whether tonight we’ll have a regular conversation about his day or if we’ll touch upon something deeper.
It could be something about whether we live our dreams or dream our lives.
Or could it be something far more mundane, a pedestrian conversation about whether he really needs to eat 29 pounds of cereal at a single sitting.
If I could remember the words of the angel I would share some of them with him. I’d offer him some golden nugget that would make his life easier but I can’t recall a single word.
Can’t say if I slumbered so deeply there was no conversation or if I grabbed a hold of the angel with my best gorilla grip and refused to let go until I knew what I needed to know.
Could be some, could be all or it could be none.
There is far more to say and more to share but my stomach is growling at me so I will head to sleep.
It is hard for me not to push past the discomfort and attend to the large list of things that must be done before the trip across the states must come.
I don’t want to acknowledge any limitations but I will because the one thing I have learned is there are benefits to listening to the cries of a body that is decades past its teenage years.
Its response is always a reflection of how I have treated it so now I give it a rest so that I can go off and have some more of the experiences from the video and enjoy the dream we are living.
Maybe if fortune smiles upon me I’ll close my eyes and hear the echoes I reach for during the daylight hours.