When the man approached me at the ATM and told me he wanted my money I got angry. Worked too hard for too long to give it to some skinny guy who thought holding a kid size version of a Louisville Slugger.
So I smiled at him and took the twenties in my hand and flung them into the wind and then when he looked away I took the bat out of his hands and smacked him twice.
Once in the ribs and once downstairs.
Maybe next time he’ll recognize that sometimes you pull a Joker from the deck and that motherfucker beats the Ace of Spades every time.
I probably should have taken my own advice to heart because a smarter man than me would have looked around to see if my new friend was alone or not.
Got a pretty good knock in the head and a bruise on my left arm to remind me to be smarter. But I am a man who believes in giving as good as I get, if not better so I helped my second new friend get the same lesson I had just learned.
Keep your eyes open.
When he hit me I didn’t fall, stumbled for a moment but I didn’t fall.
Caught my breath and then kicked the guy from behind. He didn’t see it coming which is why I am pretty certain I put his balls into his throat but that probably won’t hurt as much as the pain that comes from being thrown down the stairs.
Apparently he managed to hit at least three with his head.
(It appears some of you didn’t noticed this is marked as fiction so for those who are wondering/worried…”)