20 Years Worth of Reasons Why You Don’t Stab Your Editor

“Not sure how to avoid plagiarism? I use Grammarly because I stabbed the last two editors I worked for with a butter knife and a shrimp fork and now they refuse to meet with me in person.

I tried to apologize in person but neither of them were willing to see me probably because they know they were wrong and that my work was flawless and they don’t want to admit they are bad editors.

My only regret was accidentally stabbing the editorial assistant and the FedEx guy but they should know that you never sneak up on a guy holding a knife.

I Have Never Stabbed My Editor

Most of you are probably waiting for me to tell you that I have never stabbed any of my editors but that is not entirely true. Some years back I worked with two exceptionally bad editors who didn’t understand the distinction between editing for style and editing to correct errors.

So I stabbed, shot, beat and kicked them both more times than I can count. Of course I only did this in my head because neither one of them deserved to suffer physical pain and emotional was out of the question because they had no heart.

It is possible that I might be exaggerating and it is possible that I might not be, but I don’t want to be the one to make that decision. I want you the reader to do so.

All I am trying to do here is give you an image that is compelling enough for you to want to fill in the blanks. There is an excellent chance that you have had experiences with difficult people before and that if I provide enough details you’ll find a way to relate to whatever I have written.


The Importance of Editing

A talented writer can often get by on talent alone but if they want to move beyond talented to the realms of good and great they need to find an editor.

Good editors help tighten your work by catching errors and finding ways to tighten your work. Sometimes there are reasons why you don’t have access to an editor but still need another set of eyes to help out.

Grammarly can be that extra set of eyes. It can help you catch the errors and help make sure that the clever phrase you think you came up with doesn’t belong to someone else.

Did I mention that Grammarly will never roll its eyes, be snarky, sarcastic or demeaning. Nor will it demand any sort of favor for its help unlike Bob the English major who will read your stuff but only if you help him move out of his apartment.

If you sign up for Grammarly you won’t have to ask Bob why he didn’t major in something that leads to jobs that pay real money so that you don’t have move that ancient 2 ton sleeper couch he has been lugging around for twenty years.


The FTC wants me to let you know that the fine folks at Grammarly have compensated me for this post. I want to let you know that you have a chance to be compensated by the fine folks at Grammarly too.

The best clever/funny reason for using Grammarly each month wins a $100 Amazon gift card! That is a pretty good deal, certainly better than winning a trip to cleveland where the river might burst into the flames and the sky is never blue. 😉

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