The First Time He Laughed

Reebok high tops, rolled jeans, fanny pack- Yep is 1989.

Reebok high tops, rolled jeans, fanny pack- Yep is 1989.

Eighty some pounds of 12 year-old boy fell asleep on the couch in our living room last night.

I tried shaking him awake and in turn was graced with a mutter and a head shake that made it clear he wasn’t going to wake up.

My children are good sleepers and like me when they are out they are truly out and not easily roused so the question was what to about his choice in sleeping arrangements.

Levitation Didn’t Work

His impromptu bed was located in front of the best television set in the house and I had been looking forward to watching a movie.  I waved my hands at him and did my best to use the Force to move him to his bedroom but he failed to move.

Do me a favor and don’t say anything to Ob-Wan or Yoda about how my lack of concentration negatively impacted my ability to move a boy who is infinitely smaller than an X-Wing fighter and much lighter than a droid.

So I decided that I would pick him up and carry him to the bedroom.

I might not look like the guy in the gray t-shirt anymore but I still toss the weights around and there is no doubt that I can carry a sleeping child, even one who is in middle school.

More Like a Bag of Cement

The first time I tried to pick him up he failed to respond like a sack of cement and did a fine job of imitating a sack of potatoes. That is my way of saying that his arms, legs and torso all spun in different directions creating a situation where I was concerned about hurting my back so I didn’t lift him.

Somewhere in the echoes of time I heard that guy in the gray t-shirt taunting me about being an old man so I  glared at the sleeping lad and told him he was going to go for a ride whether he liked it or not. I paused to see if he would respond and when he didn’t bent over and scooped him up.

Hah! One swift move and he was wrapped in my arms just like the baby boy he used to be.

Ok, maybe not just like the baby boy because I could carry that kid like a football. This one had dangling limbs bouncing all over the place, but we made it work…mostly.

We Will Not Fall Down The Stairs

There wasn’t any huffing or puffing as I carried him through the house and all was fine until we reached the three stairs in front of his bedroom. Or maybe I should say I got partway down the stairs and he decided to move and that almost made both of us fall down.

When he was a little guy it just didn’t matter because he wasn’t big enough to impact my walking up or down the stairs–but those days are gone.

This time when he moved it caught me off guard and damn near me toppled us, but not quite.

The difference in size and the weightlifting paid off and I managed to keep us going, but for a moment it was really close.

And then he laughed…in his sleep.

Are You Faking?

After I prevented his having a real life experience with a rude awakening I put him down on his bed and asked him if he was asleep. He didn’t respond but for a moment I still wondered if he was pretending to be asleep, but he wasn’t.

I don’t know what he was dreaming about but the smile on his face reminded me of a time long ago when I wandered into his bedroom and watched as he laughed at whatever dream a baby boy finds funny.

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  1. BloggerFather January 22, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    First of all, fanny packs will be back in fashion in our lifetime. They’re sexy, and they make pickpockets’ lives easier. A win-win.

    I congratulate myself if I manage to pick up my 5-year-old. A 12-year-old would have ended up with a blanket in the living room for the night…

    • Josh January 22, 2013 at 10:00 pm

      Hi Oren,

      From your mouth to G-d’s ears– fanny packs are a gift min ha-shamayim. Ok, maybe not, but they are useful. 🙂

      The 12 year-old got the free ride because the days of my being able to do that are rapidly dwindling away.

  2. Adrienne January 16, 2013 at 8:54 am

    I would have had to leave him where he was Josh! I probably wouldn’t have been able to pick him up let alone carry him that far and I’m no weakling either.


    • Josh January 17, 2013 at 12:32 am

      Hi Adrienne,

      I am sure you are not a weakling, I just happen to be someone who has spent a bunch of time throwing the weights around so I am good at lifting sleeping children.

      And truth is this if this isn’t the last time it will happen it is damn close so I sort of did it because I was trying to stop the clock for just a moment.

  3. Dan Black January 15, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    Great post and perspective about your teenager.

  4. Kumar January 15, 2013 at 7:34 am

    Josh, its the letters which makes word and you proved that, btw what was the name of the movie which prompted you to do this?


  5. Barbara January 13, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    A very happy and laughing week to you, Josh! You made my day with your loving post on your sleeping teenager. Thank you!

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