If A Wolf Bit Your Crotch

Most people never wonder or worry what would happen if a wolf bit their crotch but I know a guy who thought about it.

A guy who asked a girl if she would patch up his wounds and tended to his needs if he was indeed bit by a wolf.

“Darling, if a wolf masticated upon the more sensitive parts of me, would you nurse me back to health?”

She stared at him and wondered if this was the strangest way a man had ever hit upon her.

“I don’t know if I could heal without your help. You have a magic touch.”

I suspect she found his bizarre approach to be somewhere between animal magnetism and repulsive erring on the side of animal magnetism, mostly because he called her his favorite monkey.

Generally referring to a woman in such terms fails to inspire her to build feelings of romance and lust but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Remember, it is possible to make water burn but you have to either work at it or get special circumstances to assist you.

One More Week

Got roughly a week before I can use first hand experience to determine if I have found a map to a pot of gold or if the damn leprechauns have done a better job of hiding it.

I am trying to maintain an open mind and go into it all with more confidence and less trepidation.

The results have been mixed so far but I do confess to having posted a sign notifying all area leprechauns that his Jewish guy has Irish relatives and a size 12 boot.

It lead to one encounter with a short man a brogue who was told in no uncertain terms to get the fuck back on the cereal box or have the Toucan from the other cereal shoved up his hindquarters.

You might be surprised how effective such a thing can be because a sharp beak like a Toucan wields is best kept from the nether regions and soft places of people.

Anyhoo, one of the guys asked me earlier how I felt about the upcoming change to which I responded, “At first I was afraid, I was petrified.”

He said that sounded rather musical and asked if I could be more specific about my feelings.

“I will survive.”

It is as honest and heartfelt as most people get out of me. In spite of what some people think, I don’t speak much anymore.

I am pretty quiet except when I am not.

If I Had A Fur Coat

If I had a fur coat I probably wouldn’t consider buying Cardigan or cable knit sweater.

I am not sure if I own any so I probably need to buy one which begs the question of whether I really want one.

I don’t think I have owned one in a decade, but now that I live in a place where it gets cold and damp I figure I might consider it.

Even played around with the old sweater vest, but I make no promises to buying any.

All this sweater talk reminds me of a story I can’t tell here, but I might put it on a different blog.

Anyhoo, Wild Cherry is encouraging me to play that funky music and I am considering it.

Considering it because sometimes I am happy to listen to others and follow their guidance and advice.

Sometimes.

Most of the time I march to the beat of a drummer who has no rhythm and so I do my own thing.

Heck, I got called weird not long ago which I suspect is better than being called a freak.

Or maybe not, maybe being a weird freak is useful and has some sort of practical application.

Remind me next year in late September to see if anyone needs someone with those particular skills for their Halloween.

****

Since we seem to be on a seventies beat I am curious if Andrea True Connection ever got more, more, more.

And if so, I’d ask how do you like it.

Is this a good segue into Redbone singing Come and Get Your Love?

Reminds me of a conversation I had with someone who said they had no interest in seeing any of the Guardians of The Galaxy movies.

I told them I was confident they would find them entertaining and that the seventies music throughout would make them smile.

And with that I’ll share a short clip from the movie that helped get my kids into some good music because I have to go run and write elsewhere.

 

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