Does Life Begin At 50?

“Mister, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am good.”

“Are you sure? You’re huffing and puffing.”

I don’t respond with that is what happens when you run on the treadmill or offer any sort of explanation. Don’t worry if I look like the old man at the gym because it is kind of funny to me.

Not sure if it is because I swore I wouldn’t let what happen happen or if it is for some other reason.

So I take a moment, my moment to catch my breath and a song comes floating unbidden into my head and I smile because destiny calls and I am ready to answer.

Hell, I know destiny might not have a fucking thing to do with it but then again maybe it does, what do I really know about anything.

At the moment my eyes alternate between feeling fine and between suggesting I use a soup spoon to scoop them out. Is it because there is none so blind as cannot see or because it turns out the pollen in DFW is determined to try and break me.

Shout out the pollen, I am too ornery, too dumb and too stupid to just give in. Go ahead and give me the beating, you’ll break your knuckles on my hard head.

It is not the greatest trait, but it is not the worst either.

Almost a full week into fifty and it is clearย  I haven’t learned much nor can I answer if life begins at 50.

Give Me Your Tears

A girl I know tells me her mother taught her never to cry in front of boys/men. I tell her not to worry because I don’t cry in front of anybody, but dammit, if were close enough I’d say give me your tears.

I could provide the romantic answer and say because I offered to kiss them away which sounds much nicer than saying my eyes are so damn dry I could use the help.

And though I have never tried it, I am fairly certain saying I want you to be my human salt lick is unlikely to get the sort of response a guy wants when trying to impress a girl.

Or maybe things have changed and in the age of swipe left, swipe right you can do such things.

Truthfully I would be more likely to say Wax on, wax off and hope she is old enough to catch the reference. Speaking of which I have been watching the second season of Cobra Kai on YouTube.

It is a little cheesy, but mostly enjoyable. Kind of funny to hear/see stuff about the Valley. Had a couple of work colleagues ask me to confirm certain things because of what they saw, such as whether there is a Valley Fest.

Told them no, but there is a Renaissance Faire that used to be in the Valley. Been more than a few since those days, probably since the Factory of Nightmares days at Devonshire Downs.

****

Been writing like a fiend in a few different places, working on a variety of stories and ideas, some fact, some fantasy but always with the knowledge truth is stranger than fiction.

Reminds me of days long past telling Daniel and Anne I wouldn’t ever let people tell me what was possible or not because life continually proves some things are unpredictable.

Follow me around online like a few do and you’ll see people accuse me of a being a stupid liberal and a horrible conservative. They cry and complain because I challenge assumptions, ask for proof and curse because I cross so many lines.

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only fool who tip toes across a spiderweb of beliefs as opposed to lying in the comfort of the echo chamber of partisan beliefs.

But it takes no effort to confirm I am not and to be reminded it is arrogant to suggest there are few free thinkers. There are more than a few and not all show their hand online.

I want to see more because we are broken now and I see no way to bridge the gap and fix the holes without those who can be the square peg in the circle.

They can help reach the people and places that for far too long have been unreachable.

Too Tired, Too Old

Three things negatively impacted my workout today but none of them are my age.

I didn’t sleep well. My eyes were acting up and those two things are enough to cause trouble at any age so don’t say I am too old.

Too tired is fair, I have been too tired at multiple ages albeit some fatigue feels a little more challenging at 50 so maybe my age plays a role.

Perhaps I ought to include it because I listed three things as having affected my workout and then only shared two,.

Speaking of sharing two I have thought about sharing lunch and sharing a movie at moviehouse. I love the chairs and the food is good. But it does cost a chunk more than most movie theaters here.

This is part of how I know I have been in Texas for a while because the joint is still cheaper than LA. When I first moved back I went there more frequently because it felt cheap but now less so.

The same can be said for gas.

I miss the $1.69 I paid last Winter. Wasn’t that long ago that I got excited about paying $2.60 and now it irks me, not as much as the $4 bucks I would pay back home, but enough.

My body hurts and my mind is worn out, but there is a piece of me saying suck it up, you can rest when you are dead.

Hopefully that will be a long while.

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2 Comments

  1. Henry Elliss May 14, 2019 at 8:57 am

    Life begins at 50?! Jeez, so I’ve got another ten years to wait until all the good stuff starts happening…? ๐Ÿ™‚ Well, that and all the tiredness, but that’s here already.

    Keep your chin up, Josh!

    • Joshua Wilner May 14, 2019 at 6:02 pm

      The good news is by 50 your kids are old enough not to wear you out with little things. As teens they get you with the really good stuff. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      50 hasn’t been too bad, but I wouldn’t mind retiring and trying it that way. ๐Ÿ™‚

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