This girl I know once told me I am not as tall as remembered and I laughed and said it doesn’t matter when you are horizontal.
She pretended to ignore the comment and I pretended not to chuckle, secretly hoping she would make a comment and I would smile and say she had nothing to worry about because I would turn her down.
“I am not that easy, in fact I am damn difficult and probably too much for you to handle.”
At least I think that is what I wanted to say, it is hard to know when you are bone tired and on your third drink. I know things in my gut and in that hole where I am supposed to have a tiny black heart, but hell if I can figure out much of anything other than feeling feisty.
I probably ought to ask how the first week of work has gone, but sometimes new girls can read your mind or at least be expected to.
The step counter on the computer I carry in my pocket says I walked about 4.5 miles but I have to ask where is the accounting for the 0ther 10 I did today because that is what my legs feel like.
Made a stop in between stops and overheard two women debate the best way to go out with a guy you think you might like but aren’t sure about.
I listened to them go back and forth for a solid five minutes before I inserted myself.
“Ask him to go see a movie and tell him it is not a movie date.”
I watched them cock their heads and try to figure out what the hell I just said and waited for the response.
“That doesn’t make sense. How do you ask a guy out and say it is not a date?”
“I have some female friends who have asked me to go watch a movie or get coffee with them. I am pretty certain they weren’t asking me on a date.”
The louder brunette told me men don’t understand women and that I probably had misread the situation.
“I doubt it. I am confident most of the time it was exactly as I thought. Sometimes logic is applied and sometimes it isn’t, but here I am certain. That is the joy of being practical and experienced.”
Ok, I didn’t say the last part because I didn’t feel like arguing with strangers but I damn well thought it. I don’t understand the whole “I am not sure if I like him but I’ll go out with him. Sounds ridiculous to me, I wouldn’t waste time on people I don’t like.
The Liar & The Tool
One of the tweets that floats across my screen says Trump is going to be interviewed by Hannity and asks how I feel about it.
“Oh joy, the liar and the tool are joining forces to spread stupidity and division.”
Those two should have been the ones having the ridiculous conversation about the fake movie date, it would have made sense because they are experts at making up stories and twisting reality.
It has been a funny week as yesterday was the kind of day where I wondered if 10:30 was too early to grab a beer and today I was asked how long I have been carrying.
“What makes you think I am carrying?”
“You look like the kind of guy that carries.”
Maybe it was because he saw me involved in several conversations about hunting and thought I was the one talking about the deer blind.
Or maybe it is because he heard my story about the moose and the Suburban, I am not sure.
“I don’t need to carry, I am a Jedi like my father before me. The force is my ally.”
“The proves it, an answer like that makes it clear. You are carrying.”
I smiled said I am always packing but not as you think.
He winked and said he got it and I thought, “nope, you really don’t get it.”
These are strange days at the Circle K.