Somewhere around New Year’s Eve 1995 or so a bunch of my friends dove into their respective bottles pretty hard and asked why I wasn’t doing the same.
I remember smiling and saying I had enough for all of us during my undergrad years with my fraternity brothers.
It wasn’t like I didn’t have anything that night either because I did but I didn’t need to scratch that particular itch in the same way and I still had a significant tolerance for the stuff.
That particular memory had faded until this most recent New Year’s Eve when I was encouraged to grab a drink or two. Mind you I had just flown back that evening and was tired so I was relatively sedate in what I took.
I think I said something about not requiring any alcohol to be unfiltered in my speech and then said they were one of the few I would consider getting a little tipsy with.
The ‘Curse’ Of Knowledge
I kind of like that cover, the cellos are pleasant and lend themselves to thinking about many things such as the ‘curse‘ of knowledge and how it can impact people.
Upon the start of my 50th year on this big blue marble I think of those I have shared history with and how grateful I am to have it with them.
The amount of life experience we share is vast and it lends itself to reminding myself why those relationships are important and how noticeable it can be when they aren’t part of your life.
Because there are people that come and go and people that come and grow with you.
You never get enough of the latter, although it might not matter because there isn’t enough time to spend with those we really want to and too much with those we don’t.
I told the kids when we were in LA to pay attention to the people who provide real support and those who don’t. Notice those who you can pick up wherever you left off with and those who you can be trapped in a closet or desert island with.
“When you have relationships with someone special notice who fights with and who fights for you. It is ok to disagree sometimes and it can be important. You always recognize when you can have a healthy fight and when you can’t.
Don’t forget to pay attention to who fights for you. Some of them are worthy of being kept close but not all.”
I am hyper sensitive to such things now because life is too short and sometimes too hard to spend it with people who don’t make you happy or feel good about yourself.
If you asked me to list the people that fit into this category for me I could do it with relative ease, but you’re never going to see it written down.
Nor will I necessarily mention it to those who I see in this fashion because you either know or I have far more to say and choose not to speak it at this time, if at all.
The funny thing about it is I made a decision a while back to spell it out in some cases and to say exactly what I think and feel because in some cases it is of paramount importance to me to have those discussions.
I mentioned this to one of the guys and he asked me if I thought it would scare people and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Shared history can lead to love and it can lead to hate. It can lead to mutual ambivalence.”
He laughed and said it sounded like some sort of cliche that would be shared in a Rom-Com or drama.
“That is because it happens in real life. You can fall in and out of love for lots of different reasons. Technology may change how we do some things but people don’t. You can fall in love through email or text just as easily as you might have through snail mail or regular dating.
You also can write stuff that convinces people that you are crazy too. Bottom line, some mediums lend themselves to better and easier communication and it is that communication that leads to the rest.”
I just nuked 687 words because I didn’t see how they helped the flow of this post.
They almost survived my cut because it occurred to me I might be too close to it all and lack perspective. I almost sent it on and asked for an opinion but my gut said to just nuke it.
So I did.
Will light my fire make less sense as a subhead because those 687 words are gone?
Maybe, maybe not.
I can say it is a reference to the Doors or code for taking Viagra. Or I can refer to dancing in the fire or the fire in my belly because the long time readers know something about that.
There is no doubt the 5’7 brunettes, the 6 foot blondes and the fellow travelers have their ideas about what I am or am not referring to.
Some of them are certain they know exactly what is real here and what isn’t. They’ll tell you if the moments in lines or parking lots really happened as I say they did.
It is possible they may even be right, if we have that shared history. Buy them a Pizookie or a Jermiah Red and reminisce about the good times or discuss the possibility for making new ones.
That is the curse of knowledge for you, sometimes the things you know or think you know make you act or react a certain way.
Hopefully as you march down that yellow brick of life you’ll find your Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man or Lion to walk with and not have to worry about the flying monkees being your sole companion.