Gratuitous Headline About The Royal Baby

Bodiam Castle, East Sussex, England, 11 October 2005

His Castle Is Better Than Mine.

Thank you Kate for delivering a healthy baby boy who through nothing but luck has more money and a better castle than I do.

But don’t get too excited because life can spin on a dime and one day you may find yourself wondering how I suddenly have more cash and a castle with a cooler moat and better armor than yours.

Did I mention that I might even have a cooler title than you and your brood?

I might become the Emperor of Encino, Duke of Defenestration and the Pope Of Pop. And believe me, it is not easy for a Jew to become the Pope so that is the kind of achievement you can’t just fall or be born into.

gra·tu·i·tous
/grəˈt(y)o͞oitəs/
Adjective

Uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted.
Given or done free of charge.

Synonyms
free – gratis – costless – free of charge

I don’t know about you but frankly I found Dennis Farina‘s death to be more interesting and of greater concern than the new baby. Don’t get me wrong, I like babies but this one isn’t likely to do much for me other than provide momentary fodder for this post you are reading.

Dennis Farina is a different story. Can’t say he was ever my favorite actor but I enjoyed much of his work so I can say he helped provide entertainment and that is worth quite a lot.

Ok, I like to write so I suppose the baby can get some credit for helping to provide a momentary interruption in my daily work routine but overall I can’t say I expect much from him.

You might wonder if I am jealous of this kid because he is born into ridiculous wealth and privilege?

Not So Much

Not so much expresses it quite well. Would I enjoy benefiting from some of the wealth and privilege that comes with being part of the English Monarchy?

Probably.

But ultimately I like being able to travel without bodyguards and to where I want without concern for ability to do what I want when I want to. I can go to the store any time of day and not worry about whether I’ll be besieged by well wishers or those who have less friendly intentions.

Sure, there are the occasional angry Midwesterners to contend with and the horrid drivers in the DFW area, but that is different.

I don’t want to be so famous I can’t just go out for a cup of coffee or to see a movie. I don’t feel any need to be followed by paparazzi. Just not interesting to me.

What I Do Want

Still if you asked me if there is anything I want I would say it would be cool to have a castle and to have a private jet. Might be kind of nice upon occasion to be able to get tickets to ballgames, ballets and other events just by virtue of my name and to  gain entrance to certain other attractions just because they like to have me around.

But other than that, well I don’t think so.

And as a father I am more than happy to raise normal children who can go to public school and public events because they don’t have a name attached to them.

Let them make their own way through life without having to live in a shadow created by their parents or other family members.

Good Luck Royal Baby

All that being said, I wish this Royal Baby luck and a very happy and healthy life.  Maybe one day we’ll hang out together and watch Dennis Farina in one of his acting roles.

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