“One day you’ll tell me about some girl who makes you ridiculously happy and another you’ll say no one has done a better job of making you miserable. You’ll ask me to explain why logic and reason are always at odds with their decision making and I’ll just shake my head.”
I get a grimace and a head shake.
“Don’t plan on it dad. I doubt I’ll get married and you’re saying this makes me think there is no sense in any of it. If girls are like my sister I am definitely not interested.”
It makes me smile and laugh and brings back memories of similar feelings and a memory of an older kid from the neighborhood telling us what a lucky man he was because he didn’t need girls for anything.
Father’s Know Things
A different time and a different place we have a similar but different discussion.
“Dad, if you think logic and reason aren’t something women can handle why would you ever want to get involved?”
A soft chuckle issues from between my lips, “there are some stories you don’t need or want to know about your father. But I can assure you women think we don’t have any connection to logic or reason too.
It is not a blanket statement for either gender and it is probably unfair for me to say it. We approach many things differently which is why there are some things we do better together.
If you have a relationship where you can say we were together and you forget the rest you will be a lucky man.”
He looks at me and asks how many of those I have had and if they remember as I do.
“We all remember things differently, but some things, well we remember the same or we lie to ourselves for personal reasons. She remembers.”
That makes him pause and I watch him consider what sort of questions he wants to ask and what he really wants to know.
“Dad, if I tell my sister what I think she thinks she’ll get really pissed off. You must really like messing with people if you tell her she remembers.”
“Two things to remember here youngster:
- The ‘she’ in ‘She remembers’ might refer to one or a 1000 people.
- I could be wrong but I’d hate to think someone I had that sort of experience with could just forget.
- You’re right about not telling people how to feel. That is a good way to start a fight.”
“I thought you said you had two things to say but you said three.”
“That is a father’s prerogative, like being able to tell bad jokes or the same story 5 times.”
Something calls to me
The trees are drawing me near
I’ve got to find out why
Those gentle voices I hear
Explain it all with a sigh
Tuesday Afternoon- The Moody Blues
Plant Your Feet
I love The Moody Blues, one of my favorite bands to listen to, especially when writing. Got Isn’t Life Strange playing now and a wry smile across my face.
Got a compliment yesterday and another one today about some recent accomplishments followed by a request to explain my success.
I was mildly irked by the request because it felt like someone was suggesting what I did wasn’t so impressive because if I had worked harder it could have happened sooner.
There wasn’t any point in pushing back about it because it was unlikely to be understood, appreciated or heard.
Why?
Because in order to be heard there would have to be an acknowledgement of the bad situation I was put in as well as an admission of a failure to plan that had nothing to do with me.
So I just smiled and said I know how to plant my feet.
“I imagine that a guy who spent a year living by himself might learn how to be self sufficient.”
“Yeah, when I dislocated my finger I drove myself to the doc. And if anything else of any significance had happened I would have handled it too. I know how to take care of myself and get things done. And I know how to get around road blocks.”
“Josh, I don’t know if I would describe you as going around.”
“Ok, let’s say I know how to get things done.”
Layers
One of the things I like about The Moody Blues is the layers that come with their songs, especially when they add a symphony to them.
I like how it changes the feel of the song and thinking about the impact 0f different instruments can have on the way the listeners respond.
They are not the only band who has done this, not by a long shot.
Sometimes the layers came after the musician had slipped their earthly bonds and moved on.
One of these days I am going to write something that has some music tied into it and see what sort of impact I can make with layers.
If you are going to write something that other people will read you might as well try to make them feel something.
Doesn’t matter if you are the hero, the villain, the lover or the best friend–as long as your words make them feel something you have done something memorable with your words.
You have created art.
If you can do that, well maybe they’ll say what a lucky man about you too.
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