$5 Billion Reasons Why You Can’t Buy Donald Trump’s Toupee

I can’t speak for you but I can assure you both of my grandfathers thought I was exceptionally, funny, handsome, clever and humble.

Having watched my parents become grandparents I now know there is some sort of evolutionary process that takes place that affects how parents can frown upon the actions of their children while simultaneously lauding the same actions by their grandchildren.

But I can also assure you that my grandfathers were exceptionally funny, handsome and clever too not to mention wise and I would never question their judgment and since I am the writer here you will have to accept my words as truth and listen to the tale of $5 billion reasons why you can’t buy Donald Trump’s toupee.

Donald Trump Didn’t Fire Me or Hire Me To Be his Barber

I can’t tell you if Trump really has a toupee or not because I don’t know. But one of my jobs as a writer/blogger is to find ways to pull you in which is why sometimes I like writing goofy headlines.

Sometimes people use terms like link bait as a pejorative term because they think it is wrong to write a headline that doesn’t completely tie into the post you are writing.

At the Josh Wilner school of blogging, singing, songwriting and defenestrating we believe in using tools that work and sometimes link bait is quite useful.

And if there is one thing I try to avoid it is writing boring posts. I hate boring and sadly I haven’t always escaped it. It happens and it happens to bloggers of varying experience and expertise.

Great hitters in professional baseball have an average of .300 or above which means they fail to get on base seven out of ten times but I sure as hell hope that my writing  average is better than that.

It is why I mix things up here. It is why I don’t always go for the low hanging fruit of blogging and write about how to generate more traffic, shares or comments.

While we don’t have one motto or mantra to follow we do have some advice for you.

Don’t be a victim of circumstances or get trapped by group think and you’ll find that while it might take a little bit longer to generate traffic and comments you’ll create a stronger community because those people that spend time with you will be more interested and engaged.

Talking Toupees and Photobombs

I don’t know who came up with the term photobomb but there was a time when I really got into it. I remember talking to Grandpa Wilner (he is in the picture with me) about it at my sister’s graduation and then showing him how I could subtly walk into the background of photos.

It made him laugh which only encouraged me to do it more frequently so there was a period of years in which when we were together I would make a point to show up in pictures to see how hard I could make him laugh.

Didn’t take long before I let my other grandfather in on it and the race was on when we were together too.

Was it silly and juvenile?

Yep, but it made them laugh and if you knew my grandfathers you know that laughter was a big part of them and they loved to laugh as much or more than I do.

That laughter thing is probably how I started talking to my maternal grandfather about toupees and how I wanted to invent one that talked and or recorded video.

I figured since he was bald and had once worn a toupee he might have some general insight I could use into how it would work.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

He stopped wearing that toupee before I was born so I never got to see him in it but he promised me if I ever developed the product he would wear it which reminds me of a different story.

When grandpa was about 95 or so I told him I wanted to get him exercising so that we could pitch Nike/Reebok on a campaign around him being the World’s Fastest 90 something year-old man.

He smiled and asked me if I was trying to exploit him and I told him I just wanted payback for the pony he promised but never gave me. He laughed pretty hard at that.

Some final comments for you:

1. Blogging/social media is a marathon. If you want to be successful you have to settle down for the long haul.
2. If you show people who you are and share things about yourself you will build stronger relationships.
3. If you don’t have fun you won’t last.
4. That is me standing in the background of your photo waving hi. You should wave back at me.