It’s common for me to write while listening to music and not unusual for me to use the same songs to recreate a mood which is why I went back here.
I am fired up & playing around with putting in my third workout of the day.
But every night I burn
Every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
Every night I burn
Scream the animal scream
Burn– The Cure/Crow Soundtrack
Been thinking about a buying a new heavy bag and a new pair of gloves to go with it because there are days where I miss the release of pounding out my frustration.
There is something satisfying about the feel of throwing combinations at the bag, sweat dripping off of my forehead and into my eyes, knowing that my punches will land regardless of clear or blurry vision.
It’s a great workout and when you find your rhythm it is a fantastic way to clear you head and find your center.
When you stand by the gate of Hel
And when you must tear loose
Follow you I shall
Across the bridge of Gjöll
With my song
You will be free from the bonds that bind you
You are free from the bonds that bound you
Helvegen (Live)– Wardruna and Aurora
If you are among the 17 longtime readers you have seen me use the following lines more than once.
I am determined to tear down walls and rip the fucking doors off of the hinges.
It is how I roll.
It is not a figurative nor a literal expression, it is both. I have a very active imagination and think in very graphic terms.
Very little in life is personal in nature. Very few challenges and obstacles exist because someone is trying to prevent us from some kind of achievement.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that they are not irritating at times. Sometimes the biggest challenge is motivating ourselves to find a way through, under, around or over them.
So I visualize these challenges as walls and doors to be removed.
What’s Meaningful & What Isn’t
In a few weeks I have to have a basic medical procedure that is going to require me to stop lifting for a short while.
If it goes as it should it will mean I won’t be able to lift anything real heavy for about two weeks. In spite of my best efforts I don’t recover like I did when I was 19 so I have been preparing myself for having to take more time off to recover.
It’s part of why I have been charging hard in trying to hit a few goals before I take my forced break. This weekend I curled and benched more that I have been able to do in almost 30 years.
It made me smile but I got irritated too because the guy in the mirror still doesn’t look like the twenty something I was.
I had to remind myself about what is meaningful and what isn’t. What is important is the actual execution and lifting of the weights, not whether my 56 year-old body is as cut as the 20 something I was.
What is important is I only had to pop a few ibuprofen into this almost middle aged body once because I have been smart about being methodical about working back towards this.
It wasn’t easy because I knew I could put the weight up long before I did, but I wanted to do it with proper form so I didn’t hurt myself.
The patience to build back to where you once were isn’t easy nor is it easy to accept the mileage on your body means some things are harder. Recovery is harder than it was at 20, but the mental toughness is 100 times better than it was so call it a give and take.
That’s one way I see application of Plutarch’s quote. We may not be who we once were physically but there are other gifts that we get if we keep our eyes open.
And He Came To A Door
I received a press release about a video game that is being released and a pitch to review it. It made me smile as it reminded me about a time long ago when Dad blogging was a thing for me and sometimes I would get to be part of brand sponsorships.
Reminded me of a trip to Nintendo headquarters, a chance to drive a Ferrari and a bunch of other moments that came because there used to be more readers here.
Some of that lay in the days before we were all overwhelmed by enormous amounts of content and a 24 hour news cycle that was inescapable.
It came during a time where my children were much younger and there were more stories about parenting than you find here now.
Probably have just as many as I ever did but the children have long been old enough to develop their own digital footprint and to own their stories.
They don’t need friends or future employers finding tales online that they haven’t given license to share. It is one thing when they are quite young and another when they are old enough for it to have a real impact.
I think about these things now because they have reached places in their lives where I don’t have the same responsibilities I once had.
Don’t have to live in places that have great schools and resources other than what it does if I want to sell a house.
Don’t have to worry about being traveling for work leading to missed meals, school or sporting events.
There is opportunity to explore dreams and opportunities that had to be set aside because of parenting obligations.
Retirement isn’t something that seems impossible or improbable anymore even if it’s not any time soon.
But some conversations are in some ways harder. The discussions about antisemitism and politics are a whole different ball of wax.
Everyone votes so conversations about who could do what and who might be trusted to actually help are a world away from “I need new soccer cleats or how I do I solve this word problem.”
Sometimes I miss those days because in many ways life was far less complicated.
So hear I sit staring out a dark window thinking about how to tear down walls and rip the doors off of the fucking hinges.
A mix of thoughts about acting locally to impact globally scroll through my mind as I think of editing this stream of consciousness.
Life is one hell of a marathon.
To read recent posts click here.
Leave a Reply