My daughter was nine the first time I moved to Texas. She asked how long it would be before the whole family joined me and wondered if she would ride a horse to school and develop a funny accent.
A dozen years later I thought about that moment as I watched her pull out of the driveway and head back to college
One of the guys at the office asked what it is like to know my baby is a senior in college.
“You must be happy you don’t have to do all that back-to-school shopping we do for our kids, those middle and high school supplies add up.”
I snorted and told him to just wait for college tuition, rent, books, food and eight million other expenses.
“It all goes so fast. I used to hate being told that by older parents because it sounded trite but they were right.”
We went back and forth about parenting in general and he thanked me for being like that old advice columnist.
I laughed and said I am not Dear Abby, but there were a few people who wondered about it once. I looked at the quizzical expression on his face but didn’t explain.
But You Won’t Forget Me
During the past few weeks it feels like I have seen multiple clips of the Silver Springs video from above all over the net.
It is not a scientific survey so I can’t tell you it is just me or if it really has been shared more often. I have seen the video multiple times and I know it is from the Fleetwood Mac tour for The Dance.
It stands out in part because I remember friends buying tickets and asking if I wanted to go. I was newly married and like lots of new couples strapped for cash so I passed.
Threw me for a moment to realize that it is 28 years since then and that got me thinking about a conversation with one of my workout partners at the gym.
He is 28 so I am twice his age. In between sets one day he told me he couldn’t imagine what it feels like to have to so much life experience.
I snorted and told him I am not as old as he makes me sound. I thought about it for a minute and realized compared to him I do have a ton of life experience.
A big chunk of his 28 years is composed of childhood and school. I was already an adult when he was born, granted I hadn’t been out of school for very long but I was already married. I became a father while he was still a toddler.
Anyhoo, I told him there wasn’t a big secret in gaining life experience. “All you have to do is wake up and go to sleep each day and in between time in bed you’ll collect experiences.
Later on I go through old notebooks and read words once written and wonder if they still hold the same meaning or if they have changed.
There is a secret world waiting to be shared with the one and the few who are offered entrance into it. Under endless blue skies we ride in our car into a future we can’t see but with more excitement than fear.
It is because some of us recognize the biggest regrets in life come from the chances you don’t take and the doors you choose not to open. It is not always easy to take that chance because uncertainty and insecurity chip away at bravery and present fear as prudence.
But those who are willing to be brave for a moment understand that there are amazing worlds living underneath the surface of the sea. Some call them secret worlds and say they can only be shared with a few but the great contradiction is that some secrets are hidden in the open.
Bounce the words around inside my head and consider how I feel and decide not to share some conclusions here now and and maybe not ever.
Life is one hell of a ride, you never know where it might take you. Cue the Boss and The E Street Band singing Land of Hope and Dreams.
My thoughts are a mix of rage, frustration and gratitude with myself and others but for now we’ll let the music and the lyrics take us on a journey elsewhere.
Leave behind your sorrows
Let this day be the last
Tomorrow there’ll be sunshine
And all this darkness past
Big wheels roll through fields
Where sunlight streams
Meet me in a land of hope and dreams
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