What If Your Letters Are Never Read

Each day I wake up and go to bed with the same dull ache in my side. A piece of my heart is missing. There is an empty place that feels cold. It is bitter this pain. So I close my eyes and I let my mind go and it finds you there.

Across the endless time and space I find you, my love eternal. My other half who helps to complete me.

You understand the things that no one else does. You are the star in the night sky that leads me home. There is no one like you. No one who sees me as you do, no one who infuriates me as you do. The anger and frustration, the joy and the pain. Happy and sad, you take but you give more.

My love for you is.

It just is. I no longer remember when you were not a part of me, not in a real sense. And if we should ever be separated, truly separated my soul would always remember. Be it ten minutes or ten years I know that it would take but a moment for it all to come back.

I will always be here holding your hand.
Fragments of Fiction?

Had you been standing near me when I went back to the gym today for my second work out you would have seen the fire and drive in my eyes and know something was cooking.

You would have seen start singing along with REM’s Superman and seen me stack more weights on the bar cuz I felt the lightning fill my body and I knew for a few minutes I had all the physical strength I needed.

If you go a million miles away I’ll track you down, girl
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart
If you go a million miles away I’ll track you down, girl
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart
I am, I am Superman and I know what’s happening
I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything

It is 39 years since I first heard it and probably several years since the last time I listened but something about it brought things that had been buried to the surface.

Something about it provided clarity that had been missing and I burst through an internal wall like the Kool Aid guy and realized I can see the fiery tail of a phoenix shooting across the sky inside my head.

I know what direction I am headed and even there is no path I don’t care because I will blaze a trail to get where I am going.

It is all tied to I Said Goodbye & Walked Away From Everything and These Words Are Written Upon Our Hearts.

It is not a question of if I will get to where I need to be but when. That is a mix of a scary and kind of exciting feeling.

It is empowering to recognize what you need to do even if you aren’t quite sure how to do it or get there.

And that my friends brings me to the question and answer of what if your letters are never read. The answer is what is meant for you won’t go past you or if it is meant to be, there isn’t much that matters cuz life will find a way.

Brother Pablo

I have always appreciated Brother Pablo and his ability to be so evocative in not just one, but two languages.

Language is something I have thought about quite a bit because those who are bilingual often see the world in different terms than those who are limited to one language.

I have thought about it quite a bit because my language has been peppered with saltier words tinged in anger and frustration.

Because fools who serve as useful idiots for terrorists or antisemitic rappers have been out and about today in places where I continually encountered them.

Perhaps I could have and should have walked away, but conflict and I are not always at odds. Sometimes we walk arm in arm and I let those who aren’t worth my time enjoy not just one piece of my mind but two or three.

A kinder, gentler Josh exists and has been wandering through the land but lately he has been elsewhere while the doppleganger with the harder edge and angry tone walks in his place.

Perhaps it is time to withdraw back to the castle and engage in more introspection and thought than play knight errant and battle with reckless abandon.

So these words shall be all this said until the morrow, at least in this space.