There is a secret world waiting to be shared with the one and the few who are offered entrance into it. Under endless blue skies we ride in our car into a future we can’t see but with more excitement than fear.
It is because some of us recognize the biggest regrets in life come from the chances you don’t take and the doors you choose not to open. It is not always easy to take that chance because uncertainty and insecurity chip away at bravery and present fear as prudence.
But those who are willing to be brave for a moment understand that there are amazing worlds living underneath the surface of the sea. Some call them secret worlds and say they can only be shared with a few but the great contradiction is that some secrets are hidden in the open.
Someone got upset with something I wrote about the felon and told me I am not a nice guy. Reminded me of a post I wrote called You’re Not A Nice Man.
It wasn’t inspired by a dopey looking junior college math teacher who lacks self awareness or a country bumpkin who pretends to be a lawyer, at least I don’t think it was.
Six years later the memory of the inspiration of the original post is a bit rough which shows you how important that moment and or person were.
But it also led me back to When Destiny Arrives Run Away.
Change Isn’t Coming, It’s Already Happening
Some of you won’t ever understand nor appreciate this scene for what it is to me because they’ll see half the picture, but that is cool.
I am unlikely to say more than dad and I had some conversations over the years that this reminds me of. Of course this other scene strikes me for all sorts of reasons too
Sometimes I am confident dad and I had every conversation we could have given the circumstances and situations we found ourselves in.
Sometimes I shrug my shoulders as he did and accept what is because I can’t go back to what was. I can only change what will be.
But not always, sometimes I rage at what I didn’t think to ask or do. Sometimes I get angry because he didn’t listen and if he had things might have been different.
Maybe I shouldn’t.
****
Cue Sleepwalk by Santo & Johnny and picture me walking on a beach while I tell you it is 68 days since my liver biopsy and I am down almost 25 pounds.
See my tan body and notice it morph into something that looks very much like the guy who once was a competitive swimmer.
That’s where this is headed, that’s where these changes are leading. I can already see some of the cuts that were blocked by extra flesh coming back and I want to grab my old man to say “you can do this too.”
I want to go back in time and show him his soon to be 56 year-old son is on a low fodmap, gluten free diet and is making all sorts of shit happen.
Because if I can figure out how to get back to somewhere around ’98 I can help him turn his health around.
Not to mention I can invest in some tech stocks and come back to the present a wealthy man with all sorts of options, but I digress.
When Facebook Was Fun
I stumbled across a post I wrote in 2013 that made me snort.
Sometimes Facebook provides me with an endless source of amusement. I made myself busy earlier today by filling out empty sections on my Facebook profile and by preparing new status updates such as this one:
The family and I recently spent a chunk of time living in a remote village in the Amazon. We taught the natives how to read/write/speak English and built a library.
Later on my son and I were initiated into their secret warlord council. I would tell you more about it but it is a secret and since you haven’t been initiated you don’t get to know.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Next month we are going to spend some time touring Tuscany and are going to follow that up with another fabulous trip that will make you jealous because Facebook is about one upping your friends.
Oh, did I mention I just won the Shmulitzer. It is considered by a few people to be superior to the Pulitzer. The only down side is that you have to pay a stiff tax to the government of Freedonia.
Since they hand out the prize money I suppose it is only fair, although I do wonder why they can’t just take the tax out of the award money prior to disbursing it.
Those were the days in which I used to comment on the posts people put up not about their real lives but about the lives they wished they were living. Or I’d make snarky comments about the new girlfriend/boyfriend post divorce for no other reason than I could.
Once someone asked me if I did it because I was jealous or territorial. I shrugged my shoulders and said I knew them biblically in the kind of way that would make Lucifer blush.
They rolled their eyes and I said “it is not bragging if you can back it up and I did.”
Don’t think that went over well, but I don’t always follow Dale Carnegie’s advice for making friends and influencing people.
Once Upon A Dream
Long time readers know I am a fan of quotes and look for those that sing for me. The two Frost quotes below showed up in a dream I had not long ago.
I am not a teacher, but an awakener.• Robert Frost
How many things have to happen to you before something occurs to you?• Robert Frost
The words stop me in my tracks. I don’t know if I heard them, read them or if they were painted upon the blackboard of my mind but they are stunning.
These words are written upon my heart. I understand them intellectually and emotionally and recognize that I am not who I was or who I thought.
I am someone different and deeper but without having experienced it all I could never have been who I have chosen to become. One doesn’t dance in the fire without evolving.
I don’t know if this post flows the way I want it to because I cut, paste and stapled parts and pieces into it but I am going to let it ride because life isn’t always smooth.
If you haven’t been here in a while you can check out Maybe This Is My Penance and It Might Be The Fight Of Our Lives or Jericho.
Otherwise stay tuned, there is always new stuff being published.
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