It Might Be The Fight Of Our Lives

You tell me that you hate me
Then you tell me that you love me
And you say you wouldn’t want me
If I were the last person on this earth
Then you tell me that you wish
That you never heard of me
When you close your eyes
I’m not the one you see
Well, kiss me when you’re through
You don’t have to say a word
I know what you mean
That’s how I feel too
Kiss me when you’re through
Kiss Me When You’re Through– Willie Nelson

For a moment I am lost in memory thinking about The Notebook and Walk The Line. Lost in thoughts about things I never said and some I still plan on saying.

Sometimes you expect things you thought had run their course to remain that way and sometimes you know that you have been part of the magical, mystical and unconventional so you try to avoid absolutes.

Cuz somewhere out there is a partner who wants to know your thoughts about the chaotic and the crazy but refuses to ask for all sorts of reasons. Somewhere they are talking to a placeholder and you’re in the process of massive change.

You can’t just dance in the fire, this requires forward movement because this moment in time, it might be the fight of our lives.

What kind of love never turns you down?
What kind of love lifts you off the ground?
Turns your life around

What kind of love makes you go out in the wind and driving rain?
What kind of love runs through your heart with a pleasure so close to pain?
What kind of love?
Only this love that I haveWhat Kind of Love– Willie Nelson

It’s not just the attack on the democracy within the U.S. that makes me wonder if it is the fight of our lives. It is the coordinated attack upon Jews and Israel.

The battle to delegitimize our state, to erase our connection to our land and to paint us in the worst light we have seen in 80 years.

I am fully engulfed in it wandering beyond enemy lines into places where I am unwelcome because I push back against the narratives fighting the lies and the ignorance.

Because I sometimes show up in places where the in person conversations take place prepared for things to go in multiple directions.

Some complain about me being extra salty, more aggressive and acerbic than they want. They ask if I think I’ll catch more flies with honey and if I have to see every problem as one that can be solved with a hammer.

I ask them if they recognize some people will never agree nor accept us as part of polite company. So hard men and women are required to demonstrate a different sort of strength so that others will recognize the best way forward is through non violence and words promising to adhere to such things.

Sometimes you only get there by doing things the hard way.

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize
We’re floating in space?
Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize
That everyone you know, someday, will die?
Instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning ’round
Do You Realize– Willie Nelson cover

Some love doesn’t die even if we want it to because we think it will be easier. Life doesn’t provide such options.

If you could point and click your way through emotions you’d never worry about spending money you don’t have or eating things you shouldn’t because you’d be a robot and have perfect discipline.

I once told someone that one kiss changed everything and dared them not to get lost in my arms. I was right then and I am still right now.

Some things simply are and fighting such things is foolish.

The Fire Ever Burns

I went viral on Instagram. Reshared a post that has almost 2 million views and have watched my follower count more than double.

Made me laugh because I really didn’t do much but that is life because you never know when the ordinary becomes the extraordinary.

I didn’t have that many followers before this viral moment so the increase wasn’t hard but it feels like something clicked and maybe I have caught a little fire.

Got something I can build upon. Makes me laugh because if I went viral I figured my words would be what made it most likely because occasionally I stumble upon a clever phrase.

Makes me wonder if I should try and build something with this and if I ought to figure out how to push more education and information out. Makes me wonder if I can leverage things to help with the fight.

There are moments where it makes my head hurt and my heart ache. Moments where I wonder if something is broken inside and moments where I am certain I see everything with perfect clarity.

I can hear my father and grandfather telling me to remember sometimes it is more important to take the last punch than the first.

Got me asking more questions about What Season Of Life Are We In and We Never Said Goodbye.

I can feel change all around me and sense things speeding up and moving faster. Got people telling me what they think I ought to do and hear myself reminding them I don’t wear a sweater because someone else is cold.

Got Bruce singing Streets of Philadelphia and memories of visiting my uncle once the disease had begun to claim him. Can remember walking through the Castro and seeing men holding hands while I tried to process that my uncle was going to die.

Can remember telling my father his brother had died and my grandfather that he had lost his son. Those moments never go away, not quite 25, about the same age as my oldest is now.

Fast forward to the present and I can hear Frodo tell Gandalf he wished it hadn’t happened in his time and Gandalf’s response.

Sometimes I feel like both of them but I always adopt Gandalf’s position below because we don’t get to lie down just because things are hard.

Took the results of that liver biopsy and have been remaking my body. We’ll do the same with the political situation and the haters, we’re not shtetl Jews any more.