There are a pair of Bose Noise Canceling headphones resting on my head. They are silver and about five years old now.
One of my very favorite purchases I use them daily for personal and professional needs. Used them so much the battery isn’t holding the charge as long it should anymore.
Beginning to consider whether I need to invest in another pair or not.
There is a newer model that is supposed to do a superior job of noise canceling and anything that helps me stay within my bubble when I need to be there is of interest.
Used them as I always do on the flight to Los Angeles and back to Texas. Made a point to adjust things so I could hear the pilot announce that we were landing in Grapevine and then wondered if they always say that and not DFW.
Tried to recall what I heard on the first trip to Texas in ’93 but couldn’t remember. But I know when I heard someone tell me they lived in Dallas and how they clarified by saying Grapevine.
Wasn’t aware that Texas had Grapevines or how important what was in Grapevine could be. But that was then and this is now and experience has educated me.
I Lived In Grapevine
Somewhere around 2007 I flew out to Dallas for a business trip and looked at a few places in Grapevine. Considered selling the house in LA and moving here then.
Didn’t happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I think about it and wonder if I made a big mistake in not making the move.
I tend not to focus upon it because guilt and regret serve little purpose other than to torture us with whispers of what could have been or how things should have been done.
Who knew that regardless of the choices made then I would find myself living here anyway. Eventually I found myself living in Grapevine and most days would go walk through the nature preserve next to my place.
That’s where I took the picture above.
Sometimes I would sit on a bench and watch the sunset or the sunrise and laugh at how absurd life is. Never thought I would live here and then things happened and I was certain I would.
I did and then I moved back to LA for what was supposed to be a very brief interlude. Took a little longer than expected and by the time I got back some of what I expected to still be going on had changed.
But in the interim other things changed and I knew that I was coming back. You could say it was because my job required me to go across the Grapevine in California once or twice a month.
I kept seeing Texas license plates around me and I just knew that I was going back whether I wanted to or not.
Given that I wanted to return it made it easier, but damn if I didn’t pay a price. Won’t get into all that here other than to say I remember having a long conversation with my father about it.
We talked about every piece of that particular puzzle. I remember telling him even though it made sense it was going to be pretty hard and that I was a little nervous.
“You need to go. Don’t think about what if or what might be. Go.”
He was right. Had to be done. I paid a price for some of it.
But there is a change in the air and I am beginning to see the germination of some of the seeds I planted. Starting to see what I could describe as a reward or two from it. Keeping my fingers crossed I get to experience more.
Symbolic Of The Future
Showed the picture to the kids and waited for them to make a crack about those glasses. They looked, made a comment about my hair and said “that’s grandpa’s hand.”
I nodded and said it is kind of distinct.
My daughter looked at me and said it was because grandpa and I have sausage fingers. I just shook my head and said it is because we have “man hands.”
Turned to her older brother and said he is older now than I was in the picture. Given that I was all of 20 and he is 21 it is a not a vast difference in age.
He said he know it is me but that it is hard to reconcile between then and now.
“Me too. Sometimes it is hard to remember that guy but he looks much more like who I expect to see in the mirror.
That guy had already driven across the country several times, been to Israel, Canada, France and Mexico but not Texas. He had dreams, some have happened, some haven’t and some may yet still come to be.”
He nodded at me and I told him to remember he might be on his own but his father’s hand is never far away. “Don’t be as dumb as I was. If you need help ask.”
And then we talked about women who are training him at his new job.
“What does Beyonce say, girls run the world.”
He told me he wasn’t familiar with her saying that and his little sister said it didn’t matter because it is true.
“I know some other women who would agree with that.”
She looked at me and I knew she was waiting for me to make some sort of crack but I fooled her and stayed silent. Sometimes you have to surprise people.
Epilogue
These letters I write to my number one fan here and elsewhere sometimes make me snort. Sometimes they surprise me with their intimacy and honesty.
Sometimes they provide clarity and help me recognize whether the music I hear in my head is something I ought to continue to follow.
Reminds me of how you can argue that Wichita lineman is about a stalker, Ulysses chasing the sirens or an adventurer who like Indiana Jones is able to decipher clues and follow a path to the treasure.
The latter sounds like the best and the most fun. Life is an adventure and if you are going to live it you really ought to live it or something like that.
Sometimes you eat the grape from the vine and sometimes you do the work it takes to turn the grape into wine.
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