There is a man standing outside of the Whole Foods who wants to know if I want to know the secret to living an authentic life and I shake my head.
“I am not interested in paying someone to give me a pamphlet that includes the lies of living an authentic life. That is a term that makes the siren on my BS detector go off. It’s used by too many people to make it seem like life never has issues and that is a lie.”
He tells me that I sound like a very bitter man who is unhappy because I am not living my best life.
“Don’t know how you measure bitterness or determine what living ‘my best life’ is because that is a subjective term. Does that mean I run an empire, have a harem of women dedicated to my pleasure or live in a hut on a beach with nothing more than a boat and fishing pole.”
I don’t wait for him to answer because I am not fired up the way he thinks I am. Got too many things to do and not enough time to do them all. Why do I want to speak with someone trying to sell me something I don’t need.
The division in the country bothers me and the pandemic dragging out annoys me but overall things in my world have been 1 million times worse than they are now so overall I am relatively happy.
Why Bother Continued
Is it a coincident that Cher is singing If I Could Turn Back Time now? Hell, don’t know and am not going to worry about it.
As I tore through some of the old blogs fixing code, deleting posts and making adjustments I saw one hell of a story and it made me shake my head and smile.
If you knew the amount of time I have put into some things and the return on that investment you might ask if I am crazy or maybe crazy like a fox.
You might ask how I kept going when I kept getting punched in the mouth and kicked…assuming you cared to know. That is a general statement and not specific to anyone but if you think it is you go ahead and make of it what you will.
Told my kids the other day the best part of having dealt with a few challenges and some adversity already is they know a little bit about how to manage the harder times and how to keep going.
Not everyone does and what bothers some people doesn’t bother others at all. So much of what is good or bad in life is subjective and that is not a bad thing.
It is life and that is how it works. No one gets by unscathed though some have fewer challenges than others.
Some of those challenges are contingent upon our personalities as to whether they bother us or not or at least by how much.
That is part of why I am not a fan of terms like authentic and best unless when used in a general sense.
Have I mentioned recently I am not a huge fan of people asking me how I am unless they are really interested. Don’t need any more small talk, get enough at the office and elsewhere.
If you want to know and you are someone that is important to me I am interested in digging in otherwise we can skip it.
I try to be good about asking others how they are doing that fit the criteria, but I can’t say I am great at it though I am trying to get better. Guess I am a work in progress though I am not a huge fan of that term either.
I prefer to say I am a regular guy with my share of faults and maybe a couple shares of others too, but I am pretty good at some things so maybe it balances out. Depends on who you are talking to I suppose.
It Is Not Always Hard
I grew up with a father who would sometimes respond to complaints with “life is rough all over.” Used to chap my hide a bit because there were moments I wanted him to simply agree.
Told him that too, “Sometimes it would be nice if you accepted that I am unhappy/upset about something and not tell me it is hard for people or harder for others. I know that and it doesn’t make me feel any differently. Don’t care if someone has a harder life because they are living their life and I am living mine.”
Ask the kids and they’ll tell you they have heard it and I’ll grudgingly admit not only is honest it is a useful lesson.
Doesn’t hurt to develop a thicker skin and understand sometimes the person that is going to save you is reflected in the mirror.
But it doesn’t always have to be hard or harder. Doesn’t always have to be complicated and even if it is there are things that are worth working for.
It doesn’t always come easy and and that is ok but it is also true that sometimes it don’t come hard either.
Can you tell I am on the other side of some of the bigger challenges and that is part of why I am letting go of a bunch of stuff and enjoying the adventure.
Don’t know if I am on the Yellow Brick road or 10,000 miles past the Emerald City but I know the wizard is just a man and so am I .
So what do I care if I am in front or past. The joy is in the journey and I am that much closer to retirement for whatever that is worth.
So climb aboard, man your stations and prepare for whatever may come because this ship is setting sail for destination unknown and experiences to be had.
You made an interesting point, something I’ve often thought about. There are times when I’ll respond to someone griping about something with “you think that’s a big deal; let me tell you what’s going on with me.” Then there are times when I’m not in the mood to tell anyone anything, so I just listen and ask questions, which for some reason makes people think you’re helping them. I might be, because the one thing all of us want at least 75% of our lives is someone to listen without seemingly judging us.
It appears I’m good at that, which is why I do it more often than most people… but only when I’m in the mood to pick up the phone or respond to a text… which I do on my own time.
Listening is huge and if you do it well it is exceptionally effective at helping to build trust and relationships.
I understand silence too, sometimes there is nothing to be said.